doing the "dirty deed"

Yes. The connection, of course, being that those generic sex acts must take place in ones own home in order to qualify as a "dirty deed."

The dirty deeds then pass to the new owners when the house / property is sold, along with any taxes on such deeds.

Basic Real Estate law. Everyone should know this.

so "doing it" with a lien could tilt your property towards charges of spermicide? Is this in the penal code or "zoning" regs?

what?

I know a wily mortgage lender who can get you "Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap"

Oh my, you would't want the deed to your home to become a "dirty deed." Dirty deeds are no small matter. You can't even sell them these days -- beleive me, I've tried. No one seems to trust a seller of dirty deeds; everyone assumes such sales are some sort of a trick. And so it goes -- even barely dirty deeds are termed tricks when you try to sell them.