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Sat 4 Dec, 2004 04:50 pm
How many here have danced the Reznika? Stupid question, as I'm sure most A2Kers are right now muttering, "The Reznika! Of course I've danced the Reznika! What the hell is Ratzenhofer on about this time?"
A brief history of the Reznika, however, for those few uninformed among us:
The Moravian butcher's dance. The pantomimic theme of buying an ox from a farmer is reduced to an abstracted hand gesture. The first gesture, which follows after a polka step in ballroom position, consists of the boy resting the girl's right hand in his left, palm up, and slapping it with his right, as though counting out coins. The second pattern of hand claps, during a running step, resembles the Pease Porridge Hot.
I'm getting dressed right now, and, obviously, am quite excited about the forthcoming events. I especially like the ox-buying pantomime -- I have that bad boy down to a science.
All the spectators shout and rub their hands with glee when I perform this rather difficult maneuver. I remember the last time I was at a Reznika, right as I was at my pantomimic height, I happened to glance in the audience and caught sight of young Priscilla Bukowski. She had her hand to her mouth, as if to express awe, and was whispering to one of the Jacobsen twins, "Did you see Gus do the ox-buying pantomime. What a man!" We made brief eye contact, the sparks flew, and later on I was pounding the hell out of her on the hood of an old '38 Buick parked behind the dance emporium.
So, anyway, I'm off to the Reznika.
Wish me luck.
Gustav
I salute your grace and agility with a rather large cold glass of grappa. May your feet have wings.
Rock on Gus and dance your heart away...be sure to wear some comfortable shoes. Please be sure to post some pictures of this eventful night!
Gus...sounds wild! Do they serve homemade brew at these events?
Gus, you never cease to amaze me with your remarkable talents and wooing ways with the women! I'd salute you with a glass of grappa right along with Ceili, but I can only handle 'bout one sip of that stuff and I know brain damage has set in!
Dance away, Gene Kelly!
Let me get this straight... A dance where the guy is giving money to the girl? And they've convinced you that this represents buying an ox? Have you ever heard the phrase "why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?"
I suppose the "bump and grind" that is next actually pantomimes pushing the woman from between a pair of rocks....
Seriously, though, hope you have a great time. I need to get out and dance more.
I thought you were too busy humping hamsters for this Gus. Anyway, it is NOT Pease Porridge Hot, it is the rhythm scheme and modified hand gestures from 'Three Blind Mice'. The ox is painted yellow and its horns decorated with fifteen (not twelve, this is an error of transcribing done in the 12th Century) dormice patterned with purple/white checks. Get your facts STRAIGHT!
Ohhh, sometimes what you guys know really scares me!
Any sightings of gustav yet, or has the ox gotten the
better of him?
I'm aching just thinking of the Reznika, which by the way
sounds like a contagious skin rash
With all that fancy dancing, he's probably soaking his feet in the swamp...it may also be possible that he overindulged last nightÂ…grappa is meant to be sipped.
You ought to see the old duffer dancing the 'Retsina'. He did it for the Onassis/Jackie Kennedy wedding. It was, quote...
as though a leprous, syphilitic hyena had entered the room, with all of the scent, but none of the grace. Lurching from wall to wall and flailing his arms like a windmill in a hurricane he [Gus] proceeded to smash over half of the crockery and glassware whilst sending the wedding cake on a 4 metre flying leap across the room and into the lap of the Romanian ambassador.
Fixing his one good eye on the wife of the one of the minor Rockerfellers he loudly proclaimed, "Margery Knob-Gobbler, haven't seen you since we went skinny-dipping in Butthole Creek, Alabama. Of course you were coloured then. How's about some action on the bonnet of my '63 Chevy?".
At this point security had managed to corner and crash-tackle him. Hitting the ground he was still shouting, "One at a TIME fellahs!! Let me get my trousers off first!".
Onassis applauded this show of spontaneous frolicing and then ordered Gus to be 'strung up by the cojones and fed to the sharks'. Fortunately the sharks weren't THAT hungry and Gus escaped.
I'm sorry for error there.
It should have read:
Quote:UN-fortunately the sharks weren't THAT hungry and Gus escaped
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