End of the Road?

My husband and I have been together for 7 years, married for almost 4. It has been a tumultuous 7 years, filled with so many obstacles and fighting, but something has always kept us together. There was a lot of deceitfulness, lying, and emotional cheating on his part the first 2 years we were together. My family, specifically my mother, has not made the past 7 years lovely either. He has 2 sons from prior relationships. One son lives out of state and will be 19 this year, and the other lives about an hour from us, and will be 17 this year. This son does have high functioning autism and is very capable. He lives with his mother in his grandmother's house. This child's mother (the ex-wife), is emotionally immature and unstable. I feel that my husband still allows her to control him, so to speak. My husband, in my own humble opinion, is too friendly with her and her family. I understand having to speak about your child, but that is where it should end. We constantly argue about the future of this child, as my husbands go to response is he will get an apartment and live there with his two sons. When I bring up myself, his wife, he just shrugs his shoulders. I feel that I am not a priority in my husbands life. Maybe I am misinformed, but, your spouse should be your number 1 priority. I feel that I have given so much of myself to this man, his family and children (even more than their own mothers), for 7 years, and all I am continuously told is my kids come before you. Nevermind the fact that he doesn't have a relationship with the child who lives out of state, the 18 year old. And, he really doesn't have a relationship with the 16 year old! I held in my feelings about so much for 7 years, and now that I am expressing them, I am "crazy." I have mentioned marriage counseling, and it was met with a lot of resistance, so I am not sure if even that would help. I feel like a roommate to my husband, rather than his wife.