Uncertainty on what to think

I dont know what to think, how to feel right now, about the fact that I feel I have changed within myself at heart.. How that is, is, my feelings of concern for the future have changed. Changed as in, I'm walking into heaven right now.
How i was concerned before is, uncertainty of my path to be provided in life. I think it is, because, I'm about to start, may finish by the grace of God, writing a book that will end my life.
And I think I feel good about this. What is wrong with this?

Thoughts?

Ideas?

Concerns?

Feelings?

Advice?