Heartbroken

Pregnancy can do a number on you emotionally, so understand that that is a part of what you are feeling.

As for the rest of it, egad, it's a mess. But wait until your child is born and then insist on your friend getting a paternity test. Because it might turn out that your husband has fathered your child.

There are a few possible scenarios:

• It's your lover's kid. If so, then get the guy to pay child support, even if you stay in your marriage. This is a part of making a baby. You make one, you support it, at least financially. Your lover should also have a relationship with his child. He has the right to, barring abuse or the like. Plus your husband has the right to know if a child living under his roof is not his (and he might kick your asses to the curb if that's the case, BTW).
  
• It's your husband's kid. Then I would advise dumping your lover ASAP and never looking back. End that and concentrate on caring for your children and working on your marriage as you have reconciled with your husband and should cut the cord with your lover who you say does not love you, anyway. End it and uncomplicate your life.
  
• Whoever's child it is, neither of them want to have anything to do with you. Then care for your children as well as you can and try to learn from this.

I doubt it will seriously turn into one big, happy three parent family, so understand that there are going to be harsh things happening in any of these scenarios. But at least any of them are honest.

And for God's sake make your children the priority in this as they are innocent and don't deserve to shoulder the burden of this mess.