An "Ask God" digression.

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As the title says. god has made me her mouth piece. Which god, you may ask ? The one that you believe in. Are you sick of thinking for yourself? Have you ever wondered why there is so much injustice in the world? Why socks always disappear?

Ask away and all your questions will be answered, no matter how big or small.

( please note that i will be away until tomorrow after my A + P exam. God refuses to let me cheat and give me the answer, the bastard) .

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Re: An "Ask God" digression.

God wrote:

Trust her. She is my chosen.

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Okay God, if that is your real name.

What is the deal with nicotine?

Reducing stress is supposed to be good for you. Nicotine makes everyone feel lovely.
Why doesn't it reduce wrinkles, cure cancer, and feed the starving people of the world?
Why doesn't it keep the Arctic from melting?
Why can't cars run on it?
Was nicotine just a colossal screw up or what?

And, can I bum a cigarette?

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God wrote:

Wrinkles and cancer are my punishment to smokers. I punish them because they stink and people who stink do not please me. If you are going have addictions, you should at least have the decency to be addicted to dutch tea cakes. Marijuana smells much nicer than cigarette smoke.

THe reason i allow smoke to feel lovely is because I have been paid proceeds of the sales by the tabacco companies.

Marijuana will solve all the problems of the world, when people embrace. It will be used as a fuel replacement, antidote to global warming AND foodsource.

Also, the marijuana companies give me larger rewards.

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Oh.

So God is a George Bush republican.

Now the election makes sense.

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Is there housework in heaven? What about housework in hell?

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why is God so bad with grammar?

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Okay, god.

Who created you?

Why do you purportedly send unclear and often evil men to do your bidding?

Why do you have these men write a variety of confusing transcripts, rather than just be clear and succinct?

Why create babies that die before they are born? Isn't that pointless?

Why are guys so clueless and relationships so difficult and emotionally tiring?

Why did you create viruses, a lifeless machine whose sole purpose is to make miserable and destroy?

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what's your gender god?

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Noddy24 wrote:

Is there housework in heaven? What about housework in hell?

God wrote:

Housework is purgatory for lazy husbands

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Seed wrote:

why is God so bad with grammar?

God wrote:

Why do you assume that god has to be white, male+ old? God is as much a starving Ethiopian child as an old actor sitting on a cloud putting on a fake voice. I use bad grammar because i am working through Odd Socks. Odd Socks uses bad grammar as a result of working class solidarity, laziness and recreational drug usage.

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Odd Socks--

You might not be The Goddess, but you speak with her voice.

Is purgatory infinite? Or just a very long, long time?

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Portal Star wrote:

Okay, god.

1)Who created you?

2)Why do you purportedly send unclear and often evil men to do your bidding?

3)Why do you have these men write a variety of confusing transcripts, rather than just be clear and succinct?

4)Why create babies that die before they are born? Isn't that pointless?

5) Why are guys so clueless and relationships so difficult and emotionally tiring?

6)Why did you create viruses, a lifeless machine whose sole purpose is to make miserable and destroy?

God wrote:

Okay, god.

1) I have always been. No, kidding, of course. Actually, that dude who runs Virgin created me. Richard Branson

2) There was nothing on television.

3) Refer to answer to Seed's question. That, and Odd Socks wasn't around at the time.

4) Why didn't you finish that drawing last week, Portal?

5) So that they can get women to mother them, and do their housework.

6) There was nothing on television

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Noddy24 wrote:

Odd Socks--

You might not be The Goddess, but you speak with her voice.

Is purgatory infinite? Or just a very long, long time?

As long as God needs housework done.

JB- God doesn't have a sex. She is both male and female. A celestial being, transcending human divisions like male/female. What i'm saying is, God is a hermaphrodite.

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Hmm. that was better than I was expecting, god. And I -am- an artist.

So, you as always have a biased point of view, answer selectively, and send an unclear yet occasionally witty prophet.

Can you prove your divinity? What powers do you have? What if you're just that really old giant moss lurking under Canada?

An "Ask God" digression.

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