Want More Time With Son

Please bare with me,

A brief history,

I've had primary custody of my son since my ex abandoned us a little over four years ago. It was for the best. She wasn't taking care of our son and was abusive towards me. For the better part of three to three and a half years she had no interest in our son and basically had no job. Not too long after she left, she signed a stipulation of custody in which the only time I had to legally hand him over was for four hours on federal holidays and things like Mother's Day. That order stood for over 3 years with no complaint. When she realized I didn't want her back she became extremely violent and would act this way right in front of our son. There is a long list of incidents or behavior that I could detail, but I feel for the question I have it would be somewhat useless. For the past year or so she hasn't acted as extreme simply because I told her I would start getting the police involved, and I have a couple different times. We've had the stipulation changed several times within the last 6 months. She wanted to get 50/50 immediately, but I fought back. We agreed out of court to 2 nights a week. The only reason I agreed was because she finally moved back in with her mother and got a job. She has bounced around dozens of times over the last few years. She filed for a hearing and we couldn't come to an agreement in mediation. She ended up agreeing last minute to a custody agreement which was crafted with many facets revolving around her. I didn't like it, but it avoided court. She currently has 5 nights out of every 2 weeks. Almost immediately my son started to do poorly in preschool and his behavior rapidly deteriorated. Since this agreement was made, she has started to lose interest in being a mother again and it seems like she doesn't even care. She was fired from her job, and from what my son tells me, he spends little time with her. She either isn't there and his grandmother is watching him, or she takes him to her friends and they spend the night at random people's places. Her mother is the one dropping him off and picking him up even though there isn't any reason my ex couldn't. When she does pick up or drop off, she is wearing pajamas and looks like she just woke up. There have been several times when she didn't take him to school and lied about why he didn't go. This among a slew of other things that I have been putting into a journal.

Now my son is approaching kindergarten and education is extremely important to me. Was wondering how difficult it would be for someone in my position to have an agreement where my son spends most of the school week in my custody so that he has a stable environment and can focus on learning. I would be looking to change it to 4 nights out of every two weeks instead of 5.

I talked with my lawyer and he seems to think the best route is to wait until the school year is underway and see if she keeps up this bad behavior and if his new school recognizes his mother's negative influence on our son. Basically wait until she implodes again and clean up the mess.

I remarried and my wife has an excellent relationship with my son and they love each other very much and we have a very structured and peaceful home life.

I live in PA if that makes a difference.


Any advice would greatly appreciated!

-Nate