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Cheating husband with Office Assistant

Forums: Confront, All Proofs, Office Girl, Private Investigator, Please
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Juliet1987
 
Reply Tue 25 Apr, 2017 04:35 pm
I cry every night before I go to sleep. Not a single night passes by without tears coming of my eyes. My Husband of 7 years Jason who is 42 now is sleeping with his personal secretary who is 22. I'm 30 now. I found out about it 5 months ago when I saw texts on his phone while he is sleeping. He always is so protective of his phone when I'm around so I know he is hiding something. I took the number and hired an online personal investigator around chirstmas 2016 to get me who this number belongs to, who the girl is, how long it is going and all. The investigator reported it belongs to a girl in her 20s and supposedly works at the same firm as my husband and the name. And he also concluded they are using apps to communicate and stay secure. I confronted my husband with the info I have and he said its true that the girl is working at his office but they are in no way havin sex. When I asked him about his business trips and her texts in his phone, he just distract me by kissing me in my mouth and not let me speak saying its just for work. And then in febraury I again got back in touch with the investigator secretly and asked if Lucie gone anywhere on Jan 14th & Feb 5th, both days my husband went to San diego for business. And he got back to me with info showing her plane ticket confirmations on jan 14th, Feb 5th & also Nov 27th. Even my husband is away on that date as well. And they stayed in the same place too. I dont have enough strengh to confront him anymore as he have my heart in control. But I will get strong and file for divorce using all the info I have. Its been devastating from March as not a single night I dont cry. Please help me
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jespah
 
  1  
Reply Tue 25 Apr, 2017 04:50 pm
@Juliet1987,
I have no idea what to tell you. You have already made up your mind that he is cheating, and you already don't trust him. Your marriage is over.

So why not save some money and fire the private investigator? You already have lost the trust you had for your husband, so even if he's utterly innocent, it's all over but the shouting anyway.

As for the "he have [sic] my heart in control" bit - you're a grown woman. Unless you're being abused, you have control of your own heart (and if you're being abused, you often have control as well). You are 30 years old. Take back control.
EmmyJane
 
  2  
Reply Tue 25 Apr, 2017 05:19 pm
@Juliet1987,
I know you feel like your life is coming unraveled but I promise you that you will heal from this. My husband of 13 years, the father of my 4 children did the same thing. He lied for years, and always had a good excuse... Or I never had enough evidence to confirm it, so my heart wouldn't believe It. When he was gone many nights a week and one day every weekend for years… He denied it. He was secretive with his phone and when I found text messages on a "kik" account that said I love you's back and forth... he told me it was just an online thing! I had him move out at that point. Months later I caught him at a park with a woman that he worked with… He was her boss. They both adamantly denied it! Three months later, one week after filing for divorce...they moved in together. You deserve better...and it's right around the corner. Best advice ever given to me... just on the other side of your biggest fear… Is your biggest freedom! I imagine you don't want to be divorced...believe me, I prayed for years as I watched my life shatter, but I'm thankful that I don't have to hold onto someone that isn't holding on to me!
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EmmyJane
 
  1  
Reply Tue 25 Apr, 2017 05:28 pm
@jespah,
When you love someone and you feel like they have betrayed you...it is normal to feel like you don't have control of your heart. You shouldn't be so harsh to her when she's heartbroken and grieving the loss of "all that could have been...and should have's"! This type of losses causes feelings of rejection, and honestly makes you feel out of control. All logic tells you he/she is lying but you don't want to let go...but that's exact what you have to do...and let them make their own choices!
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