16 years, two children - she had an affair!

OK guys,

Really needing some help here. Been with this women for 16 years of My life we have two beautiful children. About 1 month ago was D-day when I found out she had been cheating on me for about 4-5 months which started as an emotional affair and turned into a physical affair. To be quite honestly I know our relationship wasn't healthy during this time and although we were living in the same house we would often sleep in different rooms.

We would argue about everything and anything, we were both hard headed and at that time it felt like we were just about done. After a few months of enduring this behavior (while still living with one another) we slowly started to get better. She would text me an call me throughout the day saying things like "I miss you so much, I love you" and things started to feel good.

Fast forward to D-day...she received a text after 11:00pm from some guy saying "hey" I questioned her why is he texting her at this time..let alone..wtf is this guy texting her (period). She brushed it off..but I knew there was more. I grabbed her phone and text him back.."what's up?" He then replied "I'm missing you so much right now"....My ******* heart dropped.

I continued texting him with her phone but he took long to respond. She left the house freaking out at what she knows I just found out. Left for approx. 10 mins then walks back in. I go into the room with her and confront her straight out..wtf is going on? How long has this been going on? How far did this go?

She initially tried to play it off like it was just some stupid guy who liked her. I wasn't letting this go that easy..after pushing and pushing she slowly trickled out the truth (which pissed me off more)

The next day I left and went away for the day and night. When I returned home on Sunday I asked her more details as I felt I needed to here more, she still was not coming clean. I'm unsure if she just didn't want to hurt me, she didn't want to get more into trouble than she already was in, or if she's just a straight out pathological liar who cannot accept truth.

At this point I was livid, my who world and life as I knew it had been flipped upside down. I asked her for her phone, I hooked up her phone to the computer and ran a program to recover deleted messages. Although I wasn't able to get all, I did recover some. I found messages from the months that we were going through our struggles at home..I seen text messages of her telling him he misses him.

I also seen a text message that she sent to him that same night I found out. It read...
"Hey DON'T RESPOND I'm in deep ****, he found out and I had to confess that we hugged/kissed and had a relationship. Don't answer respond to this or answer any numbers asking about me. If I tell you it's me don't respond as he will be standing right next to me"

I was even more enraged at this moment and told her to pack her bags and gtfo.

Fast forward to today, she crys to me and tells me how much she is sorry, she swears that they are no longer in contact, she swears that she will never do this again. I went full blown asshole on her after I found this out and it was rightly so. I couldn't imagine the woman that I've been with for this long would do something like this to me? She constantly tells me how sorry she is, but I never seem satisfied with her sorrys. My children are right in the middle of this and even though we try not to react or act out over what has been done..sometimes we do.

I'm really at a Loss on what I should do, one moment I want to believe her and obviously try and make things work, the next moment I'm thinking to myself she's a liar and is probably still talking to him behind my back. I'm an emotional roller coaster and I don't know if I want to believe her and really try and get past this? Or move the **** on and never look back.

We have so much history, but the betrayal and trust has been shattered. How should I proceed moving forward?

Thanks,