What should I do

Please dont judge me. and dont tell me to move on because I know I should but I dont want to.

Okay so here is my situation. I am married and I met a married man back in May of 2016. We started having an affair. We had sex for the first time on 02/11/2017. I am in love with this man. He claims he loves me too. He is a very stubborn man and things have to be done his way all the time. Sometimes it bothers me but most of the time I am okay with it. We argue all the time. I mean all the time. We break up all the time, like once a week. He is not one to apologize very often but he does...sometimes. We broke up on 02/14/2017 due to an argument, I got upset that he didnt get me at least a card for valentines day. I know it sounds weird but I was hurt. So, to piss him off I changed my profile pic on FB with a pic of me and my husband. (I know, I am acting like a child) soon after that, he lost it, he called me a whore and a slut. He knows I hate when he calls me those names but he did it. We have barely talked since then.
We talked maybe 20 messages since then. Tomorrow is his birthday and I dont know if I should text him wishing him a happy bday. Should I do it early in the morning so he knows that I am still here for him or late at night so he thinks I forgot.....
I am such a child sometimes. But I am in love with this man. Sometimes I do treat him like crap, so dont think that he is the only one that name calls here. I do too but he always starts it.

What should I do?