Attitude Adjustment.

I haven't liked the person I have been becoming lately.

Back in May, the Mrs. and I bought a duplex. After a week of cleaning and painting we spent our first night there to find out we had a leaky roof which the sellers covered up by painting walls, not disclosing information and flat out lying about it when asked.

This caused complications in our life that, frankly, we just were not prepared to handle.

The leaky roof caused complications in other parts of the house which cost more dollars, took more time and resulted in us not being able to rent out the other unit which we were going to use to help pay our mortgage.

The downpayment for the duplex and the cost of supplies for the roof pretty much drained our savings.

The lawyer we hired to represent us proved himself to be incompetent and lazy which resulted in the wasting of 4 months and leaving us back at square one.

Besides that I started another job which paid more but did not offer insurance (the Mrs. doesn't have any either). To remedy that I got a part-time job that offered insurance for working 20 hours a week. I am putting in 40+ hours a week at my first job and 20+ hours at my part-time job for insurance. I don't mind working that much, but I miss seeing my wife and all the time I spent working was time I couldn't spend fixing the house and getting it ready to rent.

I am generally a good natured happy person. I handle stress and problems well and don't generally let life's little speed bumps get me down. But for the past 5 months I have been a very unhappy person.

I began resenting my jobs for making me work so much just to be able to have health insurance. I hated going to work. I hated being at work. I hated the people at work. I hated them for taking up so much of my time. I hated them for taking time away from my wife and I hated them for taking up so much of my time that I couldn't get the house ready.

The house was looming over me like a gigantic storm cloud. Every second I wasn't working at a job, I was working on the house. Every second I had to myself I felt guilty for not working on the house. I began not sleeping well. I began not eating well. I quit working out because I just didn't have the time to do it.

EVERYTHING in my life was a source of frustration and anger.

I started taking things out on my wife who was getting just as frustrated and tired as I was. We both looked to each other for strength but we didn't have any left to give to each other.

Each day I grew angrier and angrier and bitter and more bitter. I began not liking myself.

So last week I decided to change. I could continue on this path of self loathing and hatred or I could change what was causing me to feel that way. I just didn't have enough time to do everything I wanted or needed to do. So first I attacked the house. I barely slept for a week but it is done (minus hanging a few new light fixtures). I re-roofed, re-decorated, re-wired (with help from my wonderful father-in-law), re-tiled, cleaned, scrubbed, painted, and cleaned some more. We put the For Rent sign out yesterday.

Number two on our list was finding a new lawyer. We began another search for a competent one this time to help us with the original sellers deception.

Number three is a new job. This one may take me awhile but now that the house is done I have time to update my resume and portfolio.

It is amazing what one can accomplish when you put 100% into something. I am happier, less bitter and more energized then I have been for months. My job doesn't bother me as much and I can again smile at people. Most importantly to me, I can give my wife the attention and kindness that she deserves. Life is again good. Thanks for taking the time to read my little story.


jpinMilwaukee