The Incredible Thread of Silliness

Falling Old Ladies

A certain old lady, out of excessive curiosity, fell out of a window and splattered on the ground.

Another old lady peeked out of the window, staring down at the remains of the first one, but she also, out of excessive curiosity, fell out of the window and splattered on the ground.

Then a third old lady fell out of the window, then a fourth, then a fifth.

By the time the sixth old lady fell out of the window, I got bored watching them and went to Maltsev market where, they say, someone gave a knitted shawl to a certain blind man.

The play that failed

Petrakov-Gorbunov enters the scene. He's trying to say something. He starts hiccupping. He starts vomiting. He leaves.

Pritikin enters the scene. Pritikin: Dear Petrakov-Gorbunov was going to sa... (He vomits, and runs away.)

Makarov enters the scene. Makarov: Erg... (He vomits, and runs away.)

Serpuhov enters the scene. Serpuhov: Before I forget... (He vomits, and runs away.)

Kurova enters the scene. Kurova: I would be... (She vomits, and runs away.)

A little girl enters the scene, faces audience: Papa wanted to tell everybody that the theater will close. We are all vomiting!

Curtains.

Blue Notebook No. 10
or The Red-Haired Man

Once, there was a red-haired man who had neither eyes nor ears. He had no hair either so he was called "red-haired" only theoretically.

He could not speak since he had no mouth. He didn't have a nose either.

He had neither legs nor arms. He had no stomach, no back, no spine, and he had no insides whatsoever. He had nothing at all! Therefore, it's not clear who we are actually talking about.

In fact, we would rather not talk about him any more.

Losses

Andrey Andreevich Miasov bought some wick from the market and went home.

On the way, Andrey Andreevich lost the wick and walked into a store to buy 500 grams of Poltav's sausage. Then, Andrey Andreevich went to a milk store and bought a bottle of kefir, drank a small glass of kvas, and stood in line to get a newspaper. The line was rather long, and Andrey Andreevich stood in line not less than twenty five minutes, but, when he just approached the newspaperman, all the newspapers were sold out.

Andrey Andreevich, after waiting a little longer, went back home, but on the way lost the kefir, so he went back to the bakery, bought a French baguette, but lost the Poltav's sausage.

Then, Andrey Andreevich went directly home, but on the way he fell down, lost the French baguette and broke his pince-nez.

Andrey Andreevich got home very angry and went straight to bed, but couldn't fall asleep, and when he finally did, he had a dream: he lost his toothbrush and used some kind of candlestick instead.