Need help. Dating advice. Not over my ex.

So I'm really looking for some help.
To give you a back story, I dated a guy named Frank for 6 years. Last year we met a couple, Matt and Jake.

The first 6 years of our relationship were rocky but the last couple years we didn't argue and everything was going just fine. However we were lacking in the sexual aspect of our relationship. I just felt like it happened for every couple once they hit a certain point in their relationship.

That's a little background on that.

So I added Jake as a friend on Facebook since Frank and I moved to a new city and we didn't really have any friends. I had 0 intentions of anything other than friendships.

Last April we decided to all hangout. we were so excited that we met another couple that wanted to be friends. This was new for us. That night we went out on Matt and Josh's boat. We got hammered. When we got back, Matt kissed me in the garage. I was too drunk to really say anything but it didn't escalate any further. However the next morning when we woke up he touched me again and I didn't stop it from happening. I felt terrible but there was also a part of me that felt happy to be touched again and wanted. We would all hangout over the weekends for the next couple months. I would never let what we did escalate beyond strictly kissing and touching. I didn't not have sex with Matt while I was with Frank.

During all of this I had found out a few months before we met Matt and Jake, my mom had cancer. At this point of everything I was flying back and forth to see her. On my birthday a few months into our friendship, i felt Matt wanting to be with me. He was no longer connected with Jake. I still was in love with Frank. He was my best friend. I knew what I was doing was wrong. But on my birthday I found out Frank and Jake had been sleeping together since we started hanging out. I was devestated. I knew what I was doing was wrong. But I had never let it escalate to full on sexual intercourse. That was saved just for Frank. That was something that was so sacred to me.

Anyway, Frank and I found out and eventually fought about things. He wanted me to stop being friends with them which I was fine with. But then he wanted to be friends with Jake. Which I said no. He eventually told me that we were not right for each other at that moment because he wanted to go to school and he would need to go down to part time. I didn't make that much working but Jake did.

I moved in with Matt and Jake moved into my old apartment with Frank.

Frank and I have worked for the same company for several years. We have talked occasionally through our work IM saying hi and discussing what's going on with our lives. But I'm always looking at his Facebook through another friends account. I get sad and I still miss him. I'm constantly thinking of him all the time. I told Matt I still was in love with frank a couple months ago but he said that would go away with time and that's frank didn't want me.

I'm still in love with Frank and I'm constantly checking on him. I know for me to move on I need to let go and give Matt a chance. But I can't help it and it's gone on for far too long and I don't want to hurt Matt in the process

All I Wish is that I could go back and stop myself from going to their house that day and Frank and I would still be together.

I find myself sometimes so depressed but I've been able to hide it lately by keeping myself busy. What do I do? Do I keep going through this while I'm in love with someone who says they want me but it's not the right time and string Matt around for the ride until eventually I'm good enough.

I just feel like I can't keep doing this to myself. And yes I do like Matt. I have told him I've loved him. He's done so much for me regarding my mom and he's helped me a lot. But it's just not the same type of love I felt with Frank. We met at age 18. We got our first apartment together. We moved out of state together. There's so much we've done.


I'm so sorry his is a long rambled mess. It's my brain lately.