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I(Hindu) broke with my GF(christian) , but i really miss her and concerned about her wellness!!

 
 
Reply Mon 13 Feb, 2017 07:16 pm
I broke up with my GF last Dec and it was to some extent mutual. She is very religious Christian and i am Hindu. On the last discussion, i said that 'i doubt our relation has future', she took it and said if it has no future , better we part and i also agreed.
Ever since ,we have not talked atall and i am concerned about her. she was one girl who loved me very much and appreciated me in every aspect. I did not reciprocate at the same level and i now feel guilty that i never told her that how much i loved her.
There are many other complexities :
- I am not sure how many family is going to take this inter religion relationship and i also do not want to be an outcast.
- She is very strict christian and kindof does not even want to listen much about other religion. Even i am more spiritual than religious but i fear this could be a problem in future.
- she has past issues with depression and does not have any passions and interests. I constantly tried to talked her to start new things but she did not listen though she is very energetic and ready to do things when she is with me.

Under these situations , i am very confused and been thinking all day about her. Not to mention , i miss her very much. What should i do? should i talk to her again. I do not even know if she already moved on.
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jespah
 
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Reply Mon 13 Feb, 2017 07:41 pm
@vinu1501,
Let it go.

I'm kind of surprised you two had a relationship in the first place. Because if she is so religious, then either she thought she was going to convert you or she wasn't serious about your relationship. Or she's not as religious as she claims to be.

Because people who are serious in their faith are also, generally, serious in their marital commitments and how they want to raise their future children. It's not a lack of caring or prejudice or the like; it's more that they want someone who is already of their faith.

Of course there can be exceptions, and perhaps she is one. Or maybe you can live as an outcast from your family. If you have not broached this with them already, then you are kind of waffling on your commitment as well, yes? I mean, if she was so all-fired important to you, then you would have been talking to your family about what would happen if either (a) you brought a Christian woman home and insisted on marrying her and/or (b) you converted to Christianity.

Here are your options, in no particular order:
  • Convert to Christianity and let the chips fall where they may with your parents. This one respects your ex's culture and religion, and you say she is heavily committed to that.
  • You insist that she convert to Hindu. Be prepared for her to refuse and end anything between you.
  • You do nothing about faith and let her do whatever she wants to with her life and your children (if any). Be prepared, particularly if you have children, for your parents to potentially raise a fuss. Or maybe they won't, if they are as indifferent as you are.
  • Stay broken up, wish her well, and consider it a learning experience.
Personally, I would do the last one. I say this as a religious person, I might add (although my faith doesn't coincide with either of yours). I was fully prepared to marry someone outside of my faith if that was my fate, but I would not have given up my religion for them. And if they were heavily committed to some faith other than mine, I would know it would never work out. And I don't even have kids, and I never planned on having any! It would just, to me, feel like such a major difference.

Also - keep in mind - it's been, what, 6 - 8 weeks? This is where nostalgia comes into play. You're probably pining for some ideal of what was. Have you tried to meet other women? Have you reconnected with your friends and enjoyed your life, not working on finding another girlfriend, but just being happy? Or have you spent your time locked away in your room, dreaming of what might have been? If the answer is the latter, then get out there and have fun with your friends and stay unattached for a while.

Have a life. They're nice.
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