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Relationship Issue

 
 
Reply Sat 17 Dec, 2016 10:44 pm
Hi, I know I made some not so great choices but am trying to improve life by going to college so please understand that before you read this whole thing. I've been with this guy for a few years now. Here's a little background... He keeps dumping me for dumb reasons such as him not getting his way or arguing (he took his phone with him and I'm the paranoid type) . He doesn't say theres anything bothering him, he just leaves. He did this a few times and I take him back cause I love him and we have a kid together. I'm guessing he just needs friend time because he always calls me the next day. Although I've considered that he cheated. I have no proof he cheated but do know he was with his friend. I'm guessing he just needed some friend time? My friends and dad said it sounds like he just needed guy time. I get overwhelmed being a parent too but don't run away. Also, He used to accept my religion but now says he won't step foot in my church and that I'm going to his. I've been missing my religion. I'm going to college to better myself and he says things like " you still won't be able to afford a house" I decided to wait it out for now because I live with him and can't go with family. I'm seeing if he actually mean it when he says he will stay. I really love him and we have a kid, so I want to make it work. I'm wondering what I should do though. Should I try couples therapy?
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Type: Question • Score: 2 • Views: 184 • Replies: 4
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jespah
 
  1  
Reply Sun 18 Dec, 2016 06:32 am
@PizzaLovah,
It sounds to me like he denigrates a lot of your life choices. And when the going gets tough, he goes out with the boys. News flash: you need friend time, too, and you need breaks from your child (as every parent does. That's not bad parenting; it's actually better parenting to give your child small tastes of independence and socializing appropriate to their age).

So tell him you're going to have a girls' night out, and not in the context of an argument, more like, "Jane and Mary and I are going out to see La La Land. There's chicken in the fridge and wrestling's on Netflix. Have fun! See ya!"

This is not revenge. This is you having a life outside of your tiny inner circle family.

PS Him taking his phone shouldn't concern you. Why would it? Why wouldn't you want to be able to contact him in the event of an emergency?
PUNKEY
 
  1  
Reply Sun 18 Dec, 2016 08:24 am
Yes - couples therapy might be a good start.

You sound like you two are on different tracks for the future.

Keep going to school. It sounds like you are going to need to be able to take care of yourself and your child some day. He doesn't like the idea of you being an independent woman.
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PizzaLovah
 
  0  
Reply Sun 18 Dec, 2016 07:28 pm
@jespah,
I should have been more specific.. he takes it into the bathroom
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PUNKEY
 
  2  
Reply Mon 19 Dec, 2016 08:10 am
His behavior with his phone in the bathroom is the LEAST of your problems with this guy.
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