7 years together..now she wants to break up

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So here is my story..me and my gf met on a cruise ship 7 years ago..it was her first time to work as a wait staff on a ship..after a month we became a couple..it lasted until now..we both know our relationship is not forever from the beginning..we always talk about that but for me i never believed that..the problem began last 2 months ago when I found out that she had a big crush on one of our colleague from the ship (different department) so I asked her how much she like this guy..she said "a little only" and I thought that it's not serious so i didnt mind..but then when we join for another contract she changed a lot..she always checking this guys facebook like 10x a day...and then here is the sad story..she wants to end our relationship after this contract..bcoz she said that its about time..that we are getting old and we need to find our partner in life but she want to end this contract with me like we are together but after the contract were done...its a bit wierd..so here I am so stupid agreed to what she wants...but eventually things are getting worse and worse...we always fight especially when I found out that her crush is going to the same ship on her next contract..and told.me If i go to that ship were just friends...so I told her i am not going to that ship..I cannot take that she will be with somebody else...she also said that the guy is alao one of the reason why she is going to that ship..so at the moment i dont know what to do...she keeps saying that she doesnt see me as her future partner because of my attitude..I admit i am a jealous freak before because If you can see her, she has the looks and the body...so I got overprotected..now I dont know what to do..I know I cannot win her back anymore because i can see how she is into this guy...please help

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@Blat,

You seem to be too nice of a guy. It's going to be hard, having her for that long. I have been in an unhealthy relationship similar to that for 5 years. The problem was my own self esteem and how I give everything to the person I love even if I don't get it back. It's hard to think how many years have been wasted.

You need to get away from this poison. The longer and further away from her you get, the more you will see you and find who you used to be. It feels amazing and you can breath again, start over again. With all the work you put into somebody who doesn't deserve it, you deserve somebody who can do the same back to you.

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@Blat,

Blat wrote:

we both know our relationship is not forever from the beginning..we always talk about that

she keeps saying that she doesnt see me as her future partner

sounds like she has known all along that the relationship was just one of convenience

it's a shame you didn't understand/believe it from the beginning

__

this is a good opportunity for you to move on

In any case, you need to be clear and honest about your expectations in a relationship. If you didn't believe it to be temporary from the beginning you should have told her. Better luck next time.

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So what do I do now? At the moment were still together..I am hoping that I can change her mind about her decision

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@Blat,

Sorry for your difficulties. Reality is that the end of the romance is going to be tougher for you to face if you keep putting off or being in denial about it ending.
She's been honest with you about the relationship but you have been in denial. You can't convince her otherwise and you must stop trying to do so - for your own sake.

Focus on what you need to do for yourself and to move on and socialize with others. There's quite a lot of people to meet and eventually someone else will appeal to you and reciprocate your caring.

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Well we just had an argument about the break up again an hour ago..she said that the reason why she is breaking up is because all her life she only had 2 boyfriends..the first one lasted only 3 months because she has to go home to her country and her boyfriend cannot follow her home since he is working in the US..and the second boyfriend is me..when I met her there were like 6 guys who is courting her on the ship and she chose me out of those 6..so now she told me ever since we started as a couple she never experienced that again..I'm a little strict when someone is asking her to drink with her..to go out with her..I think its normal for a boyfriend to act like that...so now she telling me that she wants to experience the same thing..because back home she also never experienced that..I keep telling her that the guy's on the ship is only after her body...anyways we've talked and we've talked and i decide that after this contract, I will have to get away from this company and move to another...I just cannot even think that she is going to be with another guy especially the one that she likes now...

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@Blat,

She has to learn what works for her and who/whom she should pursue if she wants a relationship. This is now beyond your influence.

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@Blat,

She wants to run her own life.
Many of us understand that.
Yes, there can be complications but that is up to her to deal with

You are a little strict? Who the hell are you? Her owner?

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Well I guess you're right..I cannot do anything about it..I just need to face it...This is exactly what makes her sick..I did not give her enough freedom..she feels like she is in a jail....thanks everyone for answering

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