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Deciphering a guy's comments/looks

 
 
kgirl1
 
Reply Mon 7 Nov, 2016 05:07 am
I'm a bit of a stand-offish person, and I usually am defensive on the inside when someone makes a comment about me, to me . ..So, I am always wondering 'what's this person's agenda. Why are they saying what they are saying'. This is with any situation, whether flirtatious or not.

Anyway, to paint to scene here. This guy I know keeps commenting on the clothes I wear or how I look. This is in a semi-professional setting - it isn't the only thing he says to me - we have normal and enjoyable conversations I suppose .

SO...I've noticed he'll either couple his comment about me with a compliment, or he'll just comment, but have an undertone that makes me think he is saying something 'without saying it' - because I don't know what his true intentions are in either case I usually just carry the conversation on in a casual manner from that point on.

For example: He'll say things like 'you've got a purple top on today. It suits you. It's your colour'. Or he'll say something innocuous like 'you're in skirt mode today' - he won't say whether he thinks it suits me or not, but the comment will have a suspicious undertone. Or he'll say: 'something's different with you today; different colour makeup?' or he'd say 'did you get a new haircut' (when it was really obvious I did), he will try to make it look like he isn't making direct eye contact when he says it. I'd say he switches between these modes on a equal basis.

There was also an incident when we crossed paths, we didn't interact, but I was wearing something I wouldn't normally wear (I was a bit self-conscious, trying to get the feel of this new look, so I was avoiding eye contact) - but he walked past and I casually smiled as my way of saying 'hi', but he didn't - he looked red-faced and a bit paralyzed (I'm interpreting that to mean he was feeling awkward or uncomfortable in that moment).

Am I over thinking things? (I think the likelihood of that is high)
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PUNKEY
 
  2  
Reply Mon 7 Nov, 2016 07:25 am
Making a comment on what you wear or how you look COULD be an opener for the start of a discussion. What do you say after his comment?

Either that, or he is gay and is just noticing your style, much like a girlfriend would do.

Why don't you find out more about this guy if you are interested? You don't even mention anything about HIM, just yourself.
kgirl1
 
  1  
Reply Mon 7 Nov, 2016 03:27 pm
@PUNKEY,
Im not really interested, just trying to figure out the intention behind those comments. He could literally start a conversation out of nothing - and these comments usually are in the middle of an existing discussion.. I thought he was gay at first too, but he isn't
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ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Mon 7 Nov, 2016 04:24 pm
@kgirl1,
kgirl1 wrote:
but the comment will have a suspicious undertone.


what does that mean?


____

generally - it does look like you are waaaaaaaaaaay over-thinking things (based only on your description of things)
kgirl1
 
  1  
Reply Mon 7 Nov, 2016 08:16 pm
@ehBeth,
Have you ever had someone say something to you, but you can tell they really mean something else? In this case he was saying 'you're wearing a skirt today'(which is unsual for me) but what I heard in his tone was something on sexual side of things... Hard to convey in words..
PUNKEY
 
  1  
Reply Mon 7 Nov, 2016 08:59 pm
@kgirl1,
We know exactly what you mean.

He's looking for a reaction. Ignore his childish comments. Just smile ever so slightly.
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