Loss of respect for someone.

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I recently contacted a female cousin of mine by text asking for advice on relationships, as this is a subject I have next to no experience in and embarreses me highly as a 22YO guy. During the course of discussions however (which unfortunately went badly in the end), my cousin had revealled that she had denied a dear friend of hers a shoulder to cry on. Her friend had been pregnant and the father of the child-to-be had dumped her, as well as having several other major issues going on in her life. Tragically this friend of my cousins later took her own life, whilst still pregnant. I had already known of this tragic story through other friends however was unaware of how close my cousin had been to this girl or of any interaction between them, nor did I know the girl in question personnaly.
Though I didn't say it to my cousin, I was highly put out by this, largely as I have, particularly in recent years, been a strong supporter of standin up for the 'under-dog' and always being there for those who need it. I always find there is nothing in life greater than the simple act of human kindness.

I want to know if I am wrong for losing a great deal of respect for my cousin?

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Why do you think that your cousin not being able to respond to this woman contributed to her suicide?

Are you a mind reader?

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@HoyThorsDriftKing94,

HoyThorsDriftKing94 wrote:

I was highly put out by this, largely as I have, particularly in recent years, been a strong supporter of standin up for the 'under-dog' and always being there for those who need it. I always find there is nothing in life greater than the simple act of human kindness.

So perhaps you can now stand up for your under dog of a cousin and give her some human kindness over the perhaps guilt, definatley sadness over her friends death.

Do you know if maybe your cousin was not emotionally strong enough to deal with her friend? We can't all be the savior of mankind every day. Perhaps one day you will be in a place where you're just not able to give anything, or much of yourself, because you are having your own problems.

Frankly, I think it's very conceited to use yourself as the benchmark for everyone's actions. You've appointed yourself judge, jury and executioner, when you haven't walked a mile in her shoes.

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@PUNKEY,

I'm not looking at it as being that my cousins act was a contributary factor as its highly probable that the tradgedy would still have unfolded despite my cousins actions.
I want to know if I am wrong to lose respect for her as she didn't do something so simple as to be there for someone who needed help, regardless of whether or not this help could have changed the ultimate outcome.

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@chai2,

I all to often find myself questioning my own life. I certainly don't consider myself as a bench mark of anything. But to be honest I have to side with your argument as thats possibly another, more possive (in terms of outcomes) way of looking at it.

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@HoyThorsDriftKing94,

HoyThorsDriftKing94 wrote:

I all to often find myself questioning my own life.

That doesn't give you the right to question others.

You've got a lot of road ahead of you, and if you keep losing respect for someone over their being human, you're going to end up not respecting anyone.

Frankly, I don't see you as being very kind at all. Not from what you've told of yourself so far.

Also, why are you needing validation from others to give you permission that your feelings are "right" or "wrong"?
Are you hoping strangers opinions will justify the fact you seem to want to choose who is strong enough to help someone, and if they fail, or just aren't doing what you think they should, they go down in your estimation?

If your cousin had not mentioned this to you, your opinion of her would not have changed. She opened up to you, and this is how you repay her. Huh.

Everyone has things they have regrets over, but don't always share them. That's a good thing. Privacy is precious, and if you did share, someone might lose respect for you.

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Are you afraid that your cousin will not be there for YOU?

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@PUNKEY,

Well, he's apparantly not being there for her.

Did he give her a shoulder to cry on when she shared?
He said the conversation ended badly, so I guess not.

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Loss of respect for someone.

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