Reply
Mon 24 Oct, 2016 12:41 pm
Hi newbie here
My male best friend lives in Africa & the longer the friendship goes on the more confused I am about my feelings towards him.
We met when we house-shared together for about 18 months & though I'm not physically attracted to him nor him to me my feelings for him grew very deep & when he went back home, ironically nearly a year ago, I felt devastated; like part of me was missing & really empty inside & it took me weeks to stop feeling like that though I still miss him loads! When he finally left for the airport typical bloke nothing emotional happened on his part - he doesn't hug & all he said was we'll keep in touch occasionally! Well we have spoken via WhatsApp nearly all day every day since he left!
So emotionally my feelings for him are getting stronger; I even dream about him sometimes! But I know I don't fancy him; also even if I did because he's African he can't have a relationship outside of his tribe!
My problem is occasionally I feel like a stalker & I don't want to feel like this & I know I'll hate it when he eventually marries someone! I follow a few things to do with his country on Twitter mainly cos I want to learn more about it but I haven't told him in case he thinks I'm stalking him or even worse that I do fancy him which could affect our friendship!!!
Part of me actually wishes we hadn't kept in touch though deep down I am glad we did!
I am just so confused & just wish I could treat him like any other friend male or female!
@Leese16,
Why can't he have a relationship outside of his tribe? Does he even have a tribe?
Geez - you live with someone for 18 months and say you were NOT attracted to him; he's closed off when saying goodbye - and NOW you want to work up a relationship with him?
Perhaps this is a fantasy on your part. This is a safe crush since he is so far away and has told you his limitations.
Is he leading you on? If so, why??? if he CAN'T have a relationship with someone outside his village. Perhaps he is already promised to a girl.
@jespah,
Hi Jespah
Yes he does. It's just the rules I'm afraid. They want to keep the line going so they don't want anyone marrying 'outsiders' for want of a better word. Also he's Catholic & a very, very strict one & marrying a non-Catholic would also not be allowed!
But like I said I knew all this already I just hate these intense feelings I have for him & want it to be normal. I certainly don't have feelings like this for any of my other friends!
@PUNKEY,
Tbh Punkey I don't think he's leading me on all this is coming from me! And you're right he probably is promised to a girl already!
I just didn't expect to be this emotionally attached to someone that I'm not in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship with & I'm struggling with it somewhat!
Stumble It!
Tweet This
Bookmark on Delicious
Share on Facebook
Share on MySpace