Life is unfair

So months ago I started talking to this girl on the internet, as i was going to move to the city she lives in, for college. We were getting to know each other so well we were spending whole nights talking, we could talk basically about everything, we had a lot of common interests. Anyway, the thing is i started to feel something more than friendship could happen, and i thought she also thought about it, but i never mentioned anything. Ok everything going well so far, the day to meet in real life is here. We just set a place to meet and we were both excited but feeling kinda weird about it(after months of talking almost daily). Ok we met, she showed me around as i was new in town, we even had a walk on the beach. Just casually talking, so yeah everything seemed to be perfect. She seemed so happy afterwards when we were talking. At this point i'm totally in love and my head was just spinning. Here comes my mistakes: I keep insisting to go out again(not on a date or anything just as friends) and she finds several reasons to deny it(being tired, going out with other friends). Ok i was sad about it thinking i screwed up but i also kept insisting and showing my sadness to her also(another huge mistake). All those until the day she tells me: "i always only wanted to be friends". Yeah i also confessed what i was feeling and she said she does not feel the same. She always told me how i was so mature and stuff but then she said she's attracted to older guys and at the time she was not looking for any relationships. And here we are now, i'd love to take a lot of words back and just be friends forever if it's possible. I tried changing the subject and just casually talking about random stuff as we used to but all i get in return is cold answers and "im kinda busy". I'm afraid to ever bring my feeling into the conversation again, i'd really just like to be friends if nothing else is possible, but any conversation seems to drag us further away. I feel like she was my only chance to love and in my head (and heart) i still love her a lot and would give my life for her any second without doubt. I cried a lot. Do i have any chance of not ruining our friendship forever ? Or should i just never text her again and maybe wait for her to?(probably will never happen).

Yes, i know i'm stupid.