FWB Confusion

I have been in love with my first love since I was 15 yrs old, I am now 42. I have done everything possible to avoid him over the past 25 years due to the pain of my broken heart. He was it for me, he was all I wanted and all I needed. I on the other hand wasn't what he chose. He was my brothers best friend and he chose my brother over me yet my brother dropped him like a hot plate when he found out about us. We live in the same small community and occasionally would be at the same social even and I would do everything in my power to ignore him to avoid having to speak to him. Even 22 yrs later it is painful for me. He on the other hand goes above and beyond to make sure that I acknowledge him and at least make eye contact. Within the last year he has contacted me thru a social media site, we started talking and eventually meeting on occasion and now as often as possible. I still love him, he knows that he knows how I feel about him. We were talking every few days sometimes every couple weeks but recently it has been everyday. Every morning we message each other good morning messages, 5 out of 7 days I wake up to his message to me. He calls be "my beauty" "Sweetheart", "mi lady" , "beautiful" and "sexy". He tells me we have a strong connection, have had for a long time, he says he cares deeply for me yet he has never said he loves me. He sends me hearts and kissy emoji's all the time, everyday. I know this is probably just him flirting but I feel so much love from him yet he has never said he loves me. He says we have a strong connection and always have, he says there are feelings between us that will always be there yet he can't say the words. Am I looking for something that isn't there? Does he love me but can't admit it because of my brother or what? Every time I see him the first thing he does is hug me, he hugs me for so long, he tells me how much he's missed me. I feel so loved when we hug and so complete when he has his arms around me. We eventually kiss and kiss, I love kissing him, he has my heart even after all these years. We have great sex for hours and every time he holds me, cuddles with me, runs his fingers over my skin as we talk while I rest my head on his chest. I am so confused that I care so much about him because he was my first or my first love or what? Why can't I get over him, why can't I move on, why is he the first thing I think of every morning and the last thing every night? Am I looking into this more than I should? He seems to be breaking all the rules for a FWB relationship but why?? Our biggest issue is that we are married....but to different people. Please help!!