Gay couple dating 3 months and we've only ever kissed. + His obsessed female bff

So I've been dating a guy for three months now and I'm beginning to see some serious red flags. We have never gotten any further than making out. At first I understood it as simply bad timing. I live with my mother, he lives in a really terrible apt bldg where you have to share a bathroom and can hear what everyone is doing very clearly. His best friend (a girl) lives above him. They are always together. In fact we all worked together at one point, but she has gotten a new job, and me and my partner still work together. (Chefs) After venting to a few people that I had no idea what the hold up was, I was told to bring it up and get it out into the open. So I did about 2 weeks ago, and his excuse was that he has multiple insecurities (which he never identified) his past relationship (which was poly amorous) really fucked him up emotionally, and it has just never been the "right time." Says he needs to always take a shower beforehand, and clean his ass before having sex. I accepted his reasons and we moved on. (I should also mention he had 3 popular hookup apps on his phone up until that conversation. When I asked why he still had them, he said he never uses them and promptly deleted them) So here I am- 2 weeks later. Nothing has improved, not one mention of the topic or conversation held. Basically all we ever do together is eat, drink, and get stoned. I should also mention the best friend... I believe that she is in love with him and it's freaking me out. They are always kissing on the lips, saying I love you to eachother, she bought him flowers recently, always posting pictures of the two of them. Now you may think this is normal best friend behavior, but one of my partners good friends quit talking to him cause the chick was always around, and one of her friends just this week started a fight over her spending all of her time with my partner and not hanging out with anyone else, so I know I'm not just being a psycho. My partner and I are always together, and i spend the night at his place almost every night. She always invites him up to smoke a bowl before bed, and gets him so incredibly stoned that he wants to go straight to bed afterwards. A friend suggested she may be doing it on purpose to ensure we don't hookup. I'm not sure. What's worse is they just decided to get a place together so now shes definitely going to be there all the time. Other people I've brought this up to also believe she has some serious feelings for him. Not to be mean or anything, but she's really fat and has a super negative outlook on things. very bitter person. so I understand her side of latching onto a male where she gets everything but sex. I dont know if he's just completely clueless or has noticed but never addressed it. They've been side by side for years apparently and I feel like maybe one of the reasons we don't have sex is because he is already comfortable in his platonic relationship with the girl, he doesn't really need to nurture our emerging relationship. Why should he? He gets everything he could need from this girl while also not ever having to be sexual, until he gets horny and jumps onto a hookup app real quick. With me, he could have that same support but I want more than a make out here and there. I also sometimes get these stories of past crazy spontaneous hookups and I just think "didnt need a shower before that one did you...." I don't fully believe his excuses and I think something is up. Maybe it's feelings for an ex, maybe he thinks I'm ugly, maybe I'm just crazy and am going too fast and expecting too much. Anybody have experience in either of these matters? Or advice?