My girlfriend keeps doing the same old mistakes

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Hello and good day just signed up here hopefully you can help me out with my problem and also english is not my first language but ill try to explain it clearly. I have been together with my girlfriend for 5 years now were both 27 and everything seems to be just fine i mean shes beautiful inside and out she has a kid from her past relationship.Maybe its hard for me to adjust/accept it at first but when i get to know them both i love them and were happy when we are together.Except for this one thing my girlfriend keeps doing the same mistakes all over again and its getting into me.Earlier in our relationship i always find her text messages,facebook comments to her guy friends and it seems pretty odd to hear/see,over compliments way off the boundary conversations/discussions that supposed to be exclusive that kinda insult me as a guy for some reason and i told her to stop and she woud always promise me not to do that again and i hold on to it but there is goes again telling me its nothing and doesnt meant a word she said and thats kind of annoying.I always feel secondbest with it comes to her guy friends but she always tell me she does not mean it.I know my attitude when im with my friends and i can honestly say that when it comes to relationships i am always serious never had been to issues like third party and kinds of stuff and i am very selective of my words when speaking to other girl friends just not to offend her.But for her its the opposite i know shes not sleeping with those guys and will never cheat on me but i just cant accept that even for years now she is still doing the sames mistake same old reasons like its nothing and i am starting not to trust her anymore the more i tell her to stop the more i get frustrated when she does it again i cant get satisfying/valid answer from here and i have plans for us to bring these realtionship to a higher level but that kind of attitude keeps weighing me down what should i do?.or is it me being just jealous,selfish immature or what?.Thank you

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@Karlou,

Karlou wrote:

Except for this one thing my girlfriend keeps doing the same mistakes all over again and its getting into me.

Earlier in our relationship i always find her text messages,facebook comments to her guy friends and it seems pretty odd to hear/see,over compliments that supposed to be exclusive and i told her to stop but she always tells me its nothing and thats kind of annoying.

the more i tell her to stop the more i get frustrated when she does it again

1. I don't think you can tell someone else how to behave/speak. You can talk to them about how it makes you feel, but telling them ... nope. That's not how things usually work in a relationship.

2. Your girlfriend is complimenting online friends and you don't like it. Is that the problem from your perspective? maybe it would be best if you didn't look at her online activity in that case.

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@ehBeth,

..sorry i forgot to write that she does it also when i get to meet her friends personally and thanks for your advice i really appreciate it.

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@Karlou,

Have you tried talking to her about how it makes you feel, instead of trying to tell her what to do?

It might be less frustrating for both of you.

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@ehBeth,

yes i talked to her on how it makes me feel about it many many times but knowing that is not okay for me is it just enough for her to know or realize that she has to stop it or change something?its not that im telling her what to do i am simply telling her that it hurts me whenever she does that ..thanks for ur advice

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@Karlou,

Has she talked with you about how it makes her feel when you try to control her like this, and it's not ok with her?

Maybe she's waiting for you to realize you have to stop it or change something.

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@chai2,

nope she never told me about controling her whenever we argue and i always ask here whats the problem why did those things all over again she would not answer clearly.

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@chai2,

Thank you for your advice

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Mistakes?

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@Karlou,

oh and let me add this one so i can make things clear just to be specific on what kind of text messages i have read and actions i have observed to her guy friends.Starting hilarious conversations about sex and other flirtatious stuff she tells me its just a joke and i know it but it makes me so uncomfortable whenever i read those,cant take her eyes out of the guy whom shes speaking with even when im around (actually its the same guy shes been texting with),talking with other guys she just met or she had been friends with already with all those silly touching and stuff,not being able to inform me when she hangs out with her guys friends and finding out later pictures of them drinking and shes so drunk with a guy next to her so close shes barely lying next to the guys shoulders for long hours not informing me texting me whats going on at the moment,asking some other guys that she want to sleep over in their house with all those flirty text messages in it,compliments other guys so much it gets into my nerve telling that they are so handsome and attractive and that they can easily get girls,and last and i find the worst,telling some other guy that she would just make the first move just to get the guys attention stating in her comments,and whenever i confront her with these things she always tells me that its all nothing and is not a big deal she doesnt meant a word she said and that she has no plans to do really put this into action ..is this still normal?..i am growing restless about this i cant take it out in my mind to the extent that whenever we argue i would bring it up all to her.The problem is i always tell her how i felt whenever she does this and she seems to understand she will promise not the those things again and then there it goes again for a week or month or so.It keeps coming back all over again its kinda frustrating for my part.Thank you..

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@ossobucotemp,

i just stated the one below thanks for your comment

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@Karlou,

She is more loosey goosey than you are but I'm not clear that she is behaving badly. I'm a woman, by the way. Maybe, but a lot maybe not. You do seem quite controlling or trying to fix her, whether or not either of you use those words.

You may be happier with a more prim person, and I don't mean "prim" as an insult.

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@ossobucotemp,

..thank for your advice i just want to state that im not comfortable of those things and i want her to see that actually i have already told that to her..

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@ossobucotemp,

and its okay just a little concern for others feelings will help alot..i just wanted for here to see that..instead of finding another gf i guess..

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@Karlou,

Karlou wrote:

and its okay just a little concern for others feelings will help alot..i just wanted for here to see that..instead of finding another gf i guess..

I agree 100%

You should have a little concern for others feelings.

She's wondering why you don't, and if instead she shoud find another bf who won't try to change her friendliness towards her friends.

1 Reply

@chai2,

ill take your advice but if only you can understand my post using my original language it would mean another way the way i am supposed to mean it i just cant express it through speaking english sorry i cant explain well i tried

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@Karlou,

Where are you from - not being nosy, just asking in a general way re what part of the world.

1 Reply

@ossobucotemp,

im from philippines maam maybe other filipinos whos going through the same situation im in to can explain better than this the way i want it exactly to be explained

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@Karlou,

Karlou wrote:

ill take your advice but if only you can understand my post using my original language it would mean another way the way i am supposed to mean it i just cant express it through speaking english sorry i cant explain well i tried

I get it from your tone.

You want your girlfriend to not make friendly innocent comments because you want to control her actions, because you're too insecure to let someone you supposedly care about make their own decisions.

I didn't give you any advice. I've been pointing out you're a misogynist.

1 Reply

@chai2,

friendly innocent comments ei? when does conversations about sex to other guys
and all of those hanging out with friends wihout letting me know where shes it just to know if shes okay sound innocent?.maybe for you its okay and i dont want to judge you cause dont know you it seems your going through alot and instead of just understanding what ive posted how would i know if ur just putting some of your frustrations in your comments i think yours didnt end up so well i guess

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