Newlywed Needs Advice or Divorce

I feel very insecure and uncomfortable in my new marriage. We were just married in late April.

I am a teaching fellow that just moved to a new city. I am fat (5' 5", 210lbs) with a well-built, in shape husband. Term starts in August so I picked up a part-time job for minimum wage, which killed my self confidence (I've had trouble with self worth for years); right now, my husband is the primary bread winner. He's an EMT, very type A and has narcissistic tendencies. I'm a type A, repressed around him because I tend to hold my tongue and cater to his schedule and moods.

For the most part, we are happy. However, I feel very alone (aside from our cat, which is my responsibility). He is a good husband, attentive lover, and does small caring things unpredictably. I don't need to worry about him being responsible. He doesn't have many terrible vices; he drinks, but only in moderation and always leaves the keys, so I don't need to ever worry about things like that. Beyond that, I can't turn to him or depend on him.

I'm worried that he'll leave me because I'm fat and I'm nervous that I'm so unhappy so quickly. We've been together seven years but he's made it clear that he's not attracted to me because I've gained weight. I eat to cope. I know he works 12 hour shifts, five days a week or more, but I feel like he takes the clean house for granted and feels entitled to it. We have different standards for the home and that leaves me depressed as he claims that he does everything. I do clean, but he trashes it within 24 hours. I cop an attitude when I arrive home for work and there are new dishes in the sink, he's made himself food and none for me, or his friends are over.

Friends are another issue. His retort is that they're "our" friends, but he talks with them daily on the PS4. I don't game. I despise it. If we begin to talk, he's automatically multi-tasking on his phone. I don't want people over. I don't want his friends over. If I go out, he cops and attitude. If I bring friends home, he treats them meanly and is such a jerk that it makes them uncomfortable. Several of my friends won't come around because he is a dick towards them.

Last night, one of his friends left the toilet up. Our cat fell in, which necessitated an immediate bath for the poor kitten. While his set of friends were over and my one friend was, I had to leave the social party (his friends were making my friend uncomfortable too, which just makes me angry). I have scratch marks all over me. My bathroom was drenched. My cat bolted for the litter box and sprayed litter everywhere in fear. It was a disaster. I asked for help from him when the cat got out of the tub and bolted somewhere. I swore. I begged. He looked at me coldly and pointedly in front of his friends and said, "you wanted the cat, it's your problem." My friend had already left because the situation had turned so uncomfortable. I am miserable. I feel neglected and alone against a pile of responsibility while he goes to work, kicks his feet up, entertains, and relaxes. I haven't relaxed. I can't calm down under the mounting pressure. I've turned to antidepressants. All I needed last night was a second pair of hands to help with the traumatized cat. Instead, I got a sneer, derisive looks from his ("our") friends. The cat that they insisted was not around was behind them, cowering next to the sofa, directly behind my husband.

Despite my handling of the household, he insists I don't clean without being instructed. I don't follow him around with a waste bin or pick up his glasses and plates like his mother did for his family.

It's been three months and I am at wit's end. My family hates him. I spend the majority of time covering up how I'm feeling and turning toward food. I'm not blameless in this mess; I'm just downtrodden.