Crazy relationship

I have been dating this guy for 5 years now. I met him when I was 19. He is 20 years older than me. Throughout this relationship I have constantly been put down, told I am nothing, at times he even grabs my belly and calls me fat, even when I am of normal weight. The last straw was when we had s** and he told me afterwards "didn't you notice I was unhappy" and that "he didn't really like it at all"...yet he would blow up my phone. When im not with him and he calls me he hangs up intentionally, calls me back non stop and then says "oh why did you hang up on me". He even cried once when I tried to leave him. I feel ive been mentally physically sexually and financially abused. A year into my relationship, he told me he will give me an allowance "just to be with me" but I cant decide on the amount, he has to. Two years in, he asked me if I wanted to be his wife, and that if I wanted to I wouldn't have to worry about anything and just "stay home with the kids" while he works and "takes care of me" I rejected this thankfully. I have recently been diagnosed with social anxiety PTSD and severe depression. I have spoken to a counselor about this and I even have suicidal thoughts at times. She feels these are the effects of this bad relationship I was in. He calls me several times a day, texts me and follows me on every social media I had. Luckily I got off social media. He tries to bribe me by saying "if you just come out with me, I will take you shopping, out to dinner, anything you want" I wont fall into his trap again. I don't even go out anymore and I need help. Someone please give me some good advice. I feel like I am losing my mind and I am scared that if I ever fall back into this abusive mans trap I wont be able to get out of it anymore