Is It Weird To Be Attracted To A Mean Girl/Bully?

WARNING: Long ass backstory

I have a weird question and I've never really found an answer to it:

Is it weird to be attracted to a mean girl/bully?

So I'm in high school and I'm in year 8 (yes I'm in Australia m8). I spent year 7 in another high school and moved to this one at the start of the year. Currently it's week 1 of the 2 week holidays due to term 1 just ending. Week 2 of term 1 we had grade sport tryouts for the people who wanted to do it, and the other people just played it for fun. That lasted 2 weeks. In week 3 we were told who got into grade sport and then we were put into our school sport groups (girls and boys separated). Each group is made up of a pair from each class from years 7, 8 and sometimes year 9 if there's too many people in year 9. In my group there is only 1 year 9 pair (one short, and one tall, this is mainly about the short girl). Sport is every Wednesday periods 3 and 4 by the way.

Me and the friend I chose are naturally very weird, loud, random, and easy to be friends with (we randomly dance, sing, and teach people how to squat as well haha). We didn't know anyone in any of the years (she came from my old high school too) but made friends with all of them, well, most of them, so damn fast. For about 4-5 sport days the two year 9 girls were doing typical mean girl stuff (talking about us when we're near so that we can hear them, trying to be distant, judging, looking at us, when they spoke to me they would speak rudely even if I was nice, etc.). Me and my friend noticed and we just said well whatever they can suck a donkey's left nut and continued being normal. I decided that even though they were fuckwits, I would still be nice to them (I offered to always go before them since they always went to the back of the line whenever I was around, etc.). But then I thought what would happen if I just started to dim down my weirdness and then eventually stopped? I tried that idea and they stopped being bitches to me. Hooray.

But the weird thing is that they started talking to me, but NICE. I don't know if they meant it, or if they were experimenting like I was, but they were being nice. On about the 8-9th sport day one of my new friends (she's bitchy most of the time, not like the year 9s, but she was still a friend) suspected that I acted a little gay (plus I told her I was bi) and was constantly telling her friends that I had a girlfriend. I didn't care because what the **** I'm half that so meh. The 2 year 9s were around when my bitchy friend (let's call her E) was making gay jokes and comments and I though oh now they're gonna think I'm gay. I saw that they were gradually getting closer and closer to me and I thought are they gonna ask if I'm gay? I'll just tell them I'm bi, don't care what they say. The short year 9 said, "Are you alright? They look like they're being really mean. Do you want us to tell on them for you?" I was shocked. "Nah, it's alright. I don't really care what they're saying" I said. Why was I trying to impress them? "Are you sure? We can if you want. What are their names?" "You can for you if you feel like they're being mean to me, but not for me I'm alright. Theirs names are E, _____, and _____." They left and they didn't tell on them.

For the rest of sport that was all I could think about. Especially the short girl. I felt like I had to return the niceness. When sport finished, I went up to the short girl and said, "Hey was that you on the stage dancing a couple weeks ago? I really liked it." "Yeah, that was me." she said, and she SMILED at me. SMILED. The short girl started to act nicer to me the rare times that she talked to me.

But on the Tuesday of the last week of school we had PE PRAC (the actual sport part). Usually when we forget our uniform we sit out and do worksheets outside. On that day I had brought my sports shirt, my sport shoes, BUT I DIDN'T BRING THE SHORTS. I thought WTF? Where... goddammit they're under my bed. I told my PE teacher and he said "Well at least you brought most of the uniform so you don't have to do the work, but instead of participating in the sport you can be my helper." I said ok because first of all, I didn't want to do high jump anyway, and second I hate work. So for 50 minutes I was in a sport shirt and a skirt. I told my friends/basically the whole class and they laughed at me but didn't make fun. I didn't care who in the school saw because who gives. When we were walking to the grass area where we would do the sport, we walked past a year 9 class doing PE PRAC. The exact year 9 class that the short girl was in. And we so happend to set up the high jump stuff right next to that year class. When I looked at the short girl at the corner of my eye and saw her laughing, but not in the good way. She was doing the typical mean girl laugh. You know, the Haha You Look So Stupid And I'm Better Than You laugh. I know that I said that I didn't care who in the school saw me, but for some reason with just this one girl I was so damn embarrassed. On the outside I was like "Yes, I have a skirt on! Haha, I suck dong!" but I died inside just because of the short girl.

And that brings us to now. I didn't really mention this that much in the paragraphs above, but I LIKED this girl. Even before she started being nice. Whenever she was around I would fix my hair, try to act cool, try to impress her even when she wasn't talking to me, do anything to prevent her from thinking negative around me, etc. I was so attracted to this girl on the inside. If you're my friend you know how many times I've talked about me hating this girl so you wouldn't even think that I'm attracted to her. She's pretty too. Bleach blonde to blonde ombre hair, always wearing makeup (even though I hate makeup), freckles, big unique multi-coloured eyes, gah (btw, I always stare deeply into those). I'm usually not attracted to blondes at all, I'm more of a brunette type, but dayum.

So again, my question is:

Is it weird to be attracted to a mean girl/bully?