11
   

HIGH CLASS POETRY

 
 
Lordyaswas
 
  1  
Reply Thu 24 Mar, 2016 01:49 am
'Twas midnight in the schoolroom
And every desk was shut
When suddenly from the alphabet
Was heard a loud "Tut-Tut!"

Said A to B, "I don't like C;
His manners are a lack.
For all I ever see of C
Is a semi-circular back!"

"I disagree," said D to B,
"I've never found C so.
From where I stand he seems to be
An uncompleted O."

C was vexed, "I'm much perplexed,
You criticise my shape.
I'm made like that, to help spell Cat
And Cow and Cool and Cape."

"He's right" said E; said F, "Whoopee!"
Said G, "'Ip, 'Ip, 'ooray!"
"You're dropping me," roared H to G.
"Don't do it please I pray."

"Out of my way," L said to K.
"I'll make poor I look ILL."
To stop this stunt J stood in front,
And presto! ILL was JILL.

"U know," said V, "that W
Is twice the age of me.
For as a Roman V is five
I'm half as young as he."

X and Y yawned sleepily,
"Look at the time!" they said.
"Let's all get off to beddy byes."
They did, then "Z-z-z."


Spike Milligan.
0 Replies
 
Setanta
 
  1  
Reply Thu 24 Mar, 2016 03:49 am
The turtle lives twixt plated decks
Which practically conceal its sex.
I think it clever of the turtle
In such a fix to be so fertile.


-- Ogden Nash
0 Replies
 
Setanta
 
  1  
Reply Thu 24 Mar, 2016 03:50 am
The Perfect Husband

He tells you when you've got on too much lipstick
And helps you with your girdle when your hips stick.


-- Ogden Nash
0 Replies
 
Setanta
 
  2  
Reply Thu 24 Mar, 2016 04:11 am
Now for a musical interlude . . .

0 Replies
 
timur
 
  2  
Reply Thu 24 Mar, 2016 06:03 am
When I was young and had no sense
In far-off Mandalay
I lost my heart to a Burmese girl
As lovely as the day.

Her skin was gold, her hair was jet,
Her teeth were ivory;
I said, 'for twenty silver pieces,
Maiden, sleep with me'.

She looked at me, so pure, so sad,
The loveliest thing alive,
And in her lisping, virgin voice,
Stood out for twenty-five.
Tes yeux noirs
 
  1  
Reply Thu 24 Mar, 2016 06:12 am
There was a young lady called Horton,
Who had one long tit and one short 'un.
What's more than that,
She had a big hairy prat,
And a fart like a six-fifty Norton.
Tes yeux noirs
 
  1  
Reply Thu 24 Mar, 2016 06:14 am
@timur,
Quote:
When I was young and had no sense
In far-off Mandalay...

"Romance" by George Orwell (1925)
timur
 
  1  
Reply Thu 24 Mar, 2016 06:19 am
@Tes yeux noirs,
Sure..
0 Replies
 
Lordyaswas
 
  1  
Reply Thu 24 Mar, 2016 08:04 am
There was a young fellow named Dirkin
Who was always jerkin his gherkin
His Mother said "Dirkin, stop jerkin yer gherkin,
Yer gherkin's fer ferkin, not jerkin."

-------------------------

There once was a man from Darjeeling
Who boarded a bus bound for Ealing
The sign on the door said
Don't spit on the floor,
So he stood up and spat on the ceiling.
George
 
  1  
Reply Thu 24 Mar, 2016 08:25 am
Spring has sprung
The grass is riz
I wonder where
The birdies is
chai2
 
  2  
Reply Thu 24 Mar, 2016 11:38 am
@George,
The panther is like a leopard,
Except it hasn't been peppered.
Should you behold a panther crouch,
Prepare to say Ouch.
Better yet, if called by a panther,
Don't anther.

Ogden Nash
0 Replies
 
George
 
  3  
Reply Thu 24 Mar, 2016 01:27 pm
There was a young lady
From Boston, Mass.
Who walked in the ocean
Up to her ankles


(It won't rhyme till the tide comes in)
0 Replies
 
neologist
 
  2  
Reply Thu 24 Mar, 2016 06:17 pm
I might have told this before:

Fool Poisoning
I must've ate a tainted egg
Cuz now I've got this fearsome plague
Fever chills and shakes ague
Sorry bout that, I thought you knew
0 Replies
 
Region Philbis
 
  2  
Reply Fri 25 Mar, 2016 05:47 am

No one's hangin' stockin's up,
No one's bakin' pie,
No one's lookin' up to see,
A new star in the sky.
No one's talkin' brotherhood,
No one's givin' gifts,
And no one loves a Christmas tree
On March the twenty-fifth...


~ Shel Silverstein
0 Replies
 
neologist
 
  3  
Reply Fri 25 Mar, 2016 09:39 am
@Lordyaswas,
Lordy, Lordy, Lordy
You are so very naughty
When seeking a poem
Your fertile mind doth roam
Into the realm of the bawdy
Mr. Green
George
 
  2  
Reply Fri 25 Mar, 2016 12:06 pm
Tell your mama, tell your pa
I'm gonna send you back to Arkansas
0 Replies
 
ossobuco
 
  2  
Reply Fri 25 Mar, 2016 01:15 pm
from a favorite a2ker ever, JJorge -
http://able2know.org/topic/207633-1

'Apologia Pro Vita Sua'

I lie a lot,
I can't stop it,
but only for fun,
never for profit.

-jjorge
0 Replies
 
oristarA
 
  -1  
Reply Sat 26 Mar, 2016 10:07 am
@timur,
timur wrote:

When I was young and had no sense
In far-off Mandalay
I lost my heart to a Burmese girl
As lovely as the day.

Her skin was gold, her hair was jet,
Her teeth were ivory;
I said, 'for twenty silver pieces,
Maiden, sleep with me'.

She looked at me, so pure, so sad,
The loveliest thing alive,
And in her lisping, virgin voice,
Stood out for twenty-five.


Is it real?
0 Replies
 
oristarA
 
  -3  
Reply Sat 26 Mar, 2016 11:46 am
@Tes yeux noirs,
Tes yeux noirs wrote:

There was a young lady called Horton,
Who had one long tit and one short 'un.
What's more than that,
She had a big hairy prat,
And a fart like a six-fifty Norton.



You call this HIGH CLASS POETRY, Tes?
0 Replies
 
neologist
 
  2  
Reply Sat 26 Mar, 2016 01:37 pm
I see the down thumb bum
Has joined the scrum.
Hey, chum!
You're dumb.
 

 
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