HIGH CLASS POETRY

'Twas midnight in the schoolroom
And every desk was shut
When suddenly from the alphabet
Was heard a loud "Tut-Tut!"

Said A to B, "I don't like C;
His manners are a lack.
For all I ever see of C
Is a semi-circular back!"

"I disagree," said D to B,
"I've never found C so.
From where I stand he seems to be
An uncompleted O."

C was vexed, "I'm much perplexed,
You criticise my shape.
I'm made like that, to help spell Cat
And Cow and Cool and Cape."

"He's right" said E; said F, "Whoopee!"
Said G, "'Ip, 'Ip, 'ooray!"
"You're dropping me," roared H to G.
"Don't do it please I pray."

"Out of my way," L said to K.
"I'll make poor I look ILL."
To stop this stunt J stood in front,
And presto! ILL was JILL.

"U know," said V, "that W
Is twice the age of me.
For as a Roman V is five
I'm half as young as he."

X and Y yawned sleepily,
"Look at the time!" they said.
"Let's all get off to beddy byes."
They did, then "Z-z-z."


Spike Milligan.

The turtle lives twixt plated decks
Which practically conceal its sex.
I think it clever of the turtle
In such a fix to be so fertile.

-- Ogden Nash

The Perfect Husband

He tells you when you've got on too much lipstick
And helps you with your girdle when your hips stick.

-- Ogden Nash

Now for a musical interlude . . .

When I was young and had no sense
In far-off Mandalay
I lost my heart to a Burmese girl
As lovely as the day.

Her skin was gold, her hair was jet,
Her teeth were ivory;
I said, 'for twenty silver pieces,
Maiden, sleep with me'.

She looked at me, so pure, so sad,
The loveliest thing alive,
And in her lisping, virgin voice,
Stood out for twenty-five.

There was a young lady called Horton,
Who had one long tit and one short 'un.
What's more than that,
She had a big hairy prat,
And a fart like a six-fifty Norton.

"Romance" by George Orwell (1925)

Sure..

There was a young fellow named Dirkin
Who was always jerkin his gherkin
His Mother said "Dirkin, stop jerkin yer gherkin,
Yer gherkin's fer ferkin, not jerkin."

-------------------------

There once was a man from Darjeeling
Who boarded a bus bound for Ealing
The sign on the door said
Don't spit on the floor,
So he stood up and spat on the ceiling.

Spring has sprung
The grass is riz
I wonder where
The birdies is

The panther is like a leopard,
Except it hasn't been peppered.
Should you behold a panther crouch,
Prepare to say Ouch.
Better yet, if called by a panther,
Don't anther.

Ogden Nash

There was a young lady
From Boston, Mass.
Who walked in the ocean
Up to her ankles


(It won't rhyme till the tide comes in)

I might have told this before:

Fool Poisoning
I must've ate a tainted egg
Cuz now I've got this fearsome plague
Fever chills and shakes ague
Sorry bout that, I thought you knew

No one's hangin' stockin's up,
No one's bakin' pie,
No one's lookin' up to see,
A new star in the sky.
No one's talkin' brotherhood,
No one's givin' gifts,
And no one loves a Christmas tree
On March the twenty-fifth...

~ Shel Silverstein

Lordy, Lordy, Lordy
You are so very naughty
When seeking a poem
Your fertile mind doth roam
Into the realm of the bawdy

Tell your mama, tell your pa
I'm gonna send you back to Arkansas

from a favorite a2ker ever, JJorge -
http://able2know.org/topic/207633-1

'Apologia Pro Vita Sua'

I lie a lot,
I can't stop it,
but only for fun,
never for profit.

-jjorge

Is it real?

You call this HIGH CLASS POETRY, Tes?

I see the down thumb bum
Has joined the scrum.
Hey, chum!
You're dumb.