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confused about a matrimonial proposal

 
 
Reply Fri 8 Jan, 2016 01:40 pm
Hello everyone.. i m new on dis website i hope i wud get support. so here the scenario is i have my profile on one of the matrimonial website and accepted a proposal through dat. as his profile was managed by his parents. so i was expecting the call feom elders. bt instead of family the guy called nd he scheduled a meeting. i said ok. bt just one day prior meeting he confirmed from me ki who else wud be coming from ur side. when i asked him ki my mum nd sis. he requested me that can i make it for alone. as b4 family meeting he wanted 2 meet me once nd when i asked d reason he said that he is kind of choosy person. so b4 family meeting he himself want 2 check ki i m good for him or not. somewher i didnt like his statement bt still for some reason i accepted his request nd met him alone in a mall. there he sat nd talked 2 me for more than 2 hrs( all family nd marriage related topics). then the next day he called me nd said dat he liked me and he wants 2 arrange a family meeting so the meeting was held in coffee shop. there were his mother nd brother from his side(father passed away) nd my mom nd sis(my father also passed away). whole time in d meeting we noticed dat his mother was not asking a single question just passing smiles. though his brother askd me some questions. then they asked us if we wanna talk seperate we can. nd he said he want to. so there also he talked 2 me in alone for half an hour. nd he said ki he want a wife who have 80 qualities nd 20 flaws. nd my probabilty is very high. he said ki aftr marriage he dont want 2 regret dat my wife is less talented in comparison of others. now i didnt like his dis statement at all. i felt that he will compare me wd other girls in each nd every thing. i didnt react anything just smiled nd then we sat with rest of d family members. nd all of a sudden he asked my mum ki he wud like 2 meet me one more time. my sis clearely said no to them as according 2 my family showing the girl again nd again in arranged marriage means making d girl a showpiece. so his brother said 2 us ki no need we liked d girl. come to our home next time 2 see our home. so next day the guy called nd said ki my family can visit 2 his home after 1 week. we said ok. bt then he said 2 me ki i really want 2 meet u again alone. so i m going 2 convince ur family in dis meeting. now the meeting is 2morrow . nd i m confused shud i send my family 2 his home or not. as i myself is not liking dis fact that he is emphasizing on meetings wd me only. i m not able 2 understand that what is he trying 2 figure out.??? nd one more thing is bothering me ki in both meetings i met him nd his family wearing nice suits. nd he again nd again pick dat topic in chats that he wants 2 see me in fitted jeans. though i dont have any issue in wearing jeans i evn sent him some of my pics also that were in jeans. bt still why he is focussing on it so much. he is actually pissing me off now by pressurizing me for alone meetings nd that jeans stuff. i already told him 2 times that my family dont have so much modern mentality so they wont allow me 2 meet u again nd again. bt he is not understanding it.
now as the meeting is going 2 be held 2morrow nd i dont want 2 waste his nd my families tym. so pls help me shud i go further wd this guy?? or shud i reject him
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Type: Question • Score: 0 • Views: 354 • Replies: 2
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Ragman
 
  1  
Reply Fri 8 Jan, 2016 02:10 pm
@preetiinbox,
This website is heavily populated with those most familiar with western culture; however, your culture (and your dating norms) are extremely foreign to the majority here. Not sure that you may find someone who has the familiarity with cultural norms to advise you properly. Arranged marriages are just not done here.

I think you should listen to the advice of your family as they are looking out for your best interests.
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ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Fri 8 Jan, 2016 02:24 pm
@preetiinbox,
Hi Preeti.

It sounds like you really need to talk to your brother and sister about what to do here. Tell them everything that has happened so far.

As Ragman has noted, this site mostly has western posters, so few of us have personal experience with arranged marriages.

It sounds like the fellow you are dealing with is more westernized than your family so you really need to sort this out with your family.

I will say - if you're not very comfortable with meeting him alone, do not do so.
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