People over 35 should be DEAD...

Oh, duh. :-D

I mean, that's part of the "career" stuff, above -- I'm itching to get back to that, and have been since about oh a week after I quit, it's just that I won't do it until she's spending a significant amount of time in school.

My plan now is to segue out -- start with home-based work, renew my professional reputation, then be back in an office environment in several years.

In that office environment, though, I'd want to work part-time or 3/4 time until sozlet is old enough to be home alone -- I'd still want to be available whenever she's not in school, even if she's off doing her own thing. To be allowing her to be off doing her own thing, even if it doesn't involve me -- to be a door away if needed.

Eva -

You're so right. So many people get way too involved in their childrens' lives and there has to be a happy medium, as well as a realization as to when to "back off" and let them gradually become individuals, separate from us. It's hard because we love them so much and want to protect them, so I can see how this happens.

My younger child is 21. She has more than one friend who had the same situation she did. I'm 45 and my kids are grown and gone. Have been for several years. I revolved my life around my children in my early to mid-20's because quite frankly I had nothing else to revolve my life around. I'd given up my education, had gotten married way too young and couldn't stand my husband, etc.

Anyway, I straightened things out and got the message that my job as a parent was to raise my children to be able to live independently of me some day. Once they've earned their Bachelor's degrees they're on their own. I'm always here if they need me, but they're adults and hopefully I've equipped them as much as I could to take care of themselves in every way.

My daughter has one friend in particular who had the similar home situation to ours. Parents were high school sweethearts who have since become "boring old people" with no common interests and have long since outgrown each other. Mom became way too involved in Lisa's life, being on every committee from soup to nuts as she was growing up - stage mom from hell. She apparently felt that she had no life of substance so she had to live Lisa's life and be with her constantly.

Lisa graduated high school, moved out to go to college. No surprise, the following year she was moving back home. Mom's her best friend and she feels terrible that now Mom has no one to hang with. So now she misses the college experience so she can babysit a bored 45-year-old mom and be her "buddy." So sad.

There comes a time to let go whether we like it or not. I loved having my kids at home with me when they were little, and even when they weren't but around age 10 or 11 they both made it very clear that they wanted to "broaden their horizons" and that their circle of peers rather than "mommy" was (quite naturally) the center of their universe and I had to gradually step into the background and cautiously watch them learn to "fly solo."

Relationships with our children, as in any other relationship, go through phases and whether we like it or not we have to follow their lead and not suffocate them.

Fortunately I realized this before it was too late and have returned to college, am concentrating on my career which keeps getting better all the time, and have married someone with whom I have much more in common. Also, I am always thrilled to hear about my childrens' latest accomplishments that they've made on their own as happy, successful adults with no interference from me. I give advice when I'm asked for it, and she can choose to take it or leave it. She usually leaves it but always lands on her feet.

I really think that the more we nurture and enrich our own lives the less we need to live those of our kids vicariously.

Soz - Have you ever thought about an at-home telecommuting career? I'm an at-home medical editor and it works out great!

Wise words, SueZ.

I'll say!

Since we didn't think we would have the chance to become parents, and then against all odds our son came along, I've always wanted to spend as much time with him as possible. I only get this one chance and, at my age, the years go by all too quickly. That's why I work from a home office. I work part-time...that is to say, part of the time I work overtime, and part of the time I don't work. (!) P.R. is like that. It fits in very nicely with parenting, as I have a lot of control over my schedule. The only problem is getting enough "concentration" time when I'm working on deadline. Fortunately, my husband and I fill in for each other when our jobs demand overtime. I really don't know how single parents manage...I am in awe of them!

Aghhh, I remember how different UK children are to US children. My sister (almost seven years older) has an eight year old. She, I, my twin, and her little kid (Bruno) went to America to visit our parents (living in California with my younger brothers and sister, so that's six siblings). Things are different over there.

Now, I grew up with Super Nintendo and Mario and the like. I spent most of my childhood indoors with my mates, watching the telly or listening to Hitchhiker's Guide. We probably ate too much for our own good. We got out and played football and skated and did things that kids do nowadays: sliding down dirt hills on bits of cardboard, building swingsets out of cloth and rope, jumping into rivers, and all that. Kids all over the world do that, but in different ways. My youngest brother, who's 11, plays with his brother, who's 12, in a huge trench, with mountains of dirt and perfect spots to slide down on snow-saucers. No-one gave a damn. Then, there came laws and all that after a pair of young children were buried in a similar trench. Actually, the reason the two were buried was because a lorry was dumping dirt (against the law) every day, which caused an unsafe pile-up, which fell on the unfortunate children. Of course, the media ignored this, and said that the children were in a dangerous area, etc. etc. Fences covered in barbed wire were put up round areas like the one my brothers played on. Now, my brothers spend all their time indoors, eating crisps and burgers and chips and fizzy drinks and watching the telly for incredibly long amounts of time.

Well, I'll stop rambling, seeing as no-one really cares.

Helmets? **** em'.

Well, bicycle helmets are a good idea, but I still can't help thinking "Dork" whenever I see an adult in one. Motorcycle helmets are another story. I think it's irresponsible NOT to wear one.
Bailey, what a horrible death for those kids.

Helmets are a good idea, for bike riders as well as motorcyclists. I don't think Lance Armstrong looks like a dork.

Well but he's a race cyclist! You dont go cycling around on your daily business to work or the shops with a helmet on ... at least, not here, anyways.

Well they do here, Nimh! And I think it's dorky. especially when paired with brightly colored spandex. They are smart to wear the helmets, but I still think it's dorky, although I acknowledge that that's mean.

Dorky is better than brain damaged. It's just too dangerous to ride bikes in this city traffic without a helmet. If you're riding on one of the bike trails through the parks, though, it's not a big deal.

Please help me out if you have any information on this!
Okay, so, here's the deal. I found this board through a search engine looking for the quote "Youth is not wasted on the young". I signed up solely to make this response, hoping that some of you would reply. I'm desperate, really.

The reason I was looking for this was because I am absolutely DYING to know which movie I heard this from. It wasn't just that line. It was a monolouge from, I think, a woman. She was talking about how she wished she could go back to the days of when she was a kid because she hated how the aging process works. About how the older she gets, the more scrutinizing she becomes. She began to notice all the faults of everything, and realized then, that that is how you age. That you are aware of everything around you. Your nievity disappears. She then talked about how nice the love of children is. How it is pure, and although nieve, it is well-meaning. Then, she talks about how wisdom of the old is bestowed upon the young.

Her final statement, I'm thinking, went something like this: "Youth is not wasted on youthful, but in fact, wisdom is wasted on the old."

I need to know where this came from, and hopefully, the exact words. I'm almost sure it is a movie, but it could be a song or a TV show for all I know. If this, in any way, sounds familiar, please tell me! I'd appreciate any hints or ideas or tips at all. I need help!

If you'd like to talk to me, my AIM is Lightblueness, and my email is [email protected]. If you reply on this board, I should still get your response because I'm adding this board as a favorite. I'll check back, hopefull to see a few replies.

Thanks in advance<3!

Oscar Wilde said the youth wasted on the young thing.

And Zaphod Beeblebrox's great-great-great grandfather said,

"We have a saying, up there... life, is wasted on the living."

Hee hee hee!