Secret women only thread for sisterhood induction of TGAS.

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We have a new sibling here on A2k, who has asked for the assistance of the women here to rectify a seeming lack of proper instruction in the secret codes and such of sisterhood.

Please meet Totally Girly and Such:

http://www.able2know.com/forums/profile.php?mode=viewprofile&u=16502

Her pleas have been greeted, on another thread, ( http://www.able2know.com/forums/viewtopic.php?p=752600#752600 ) with suspicion and a tight-lipped silence.

Sisters - is this right? No, I say, answering myself before you can get a word in, in the annoying manner of many who ask rhetorical questions, it is not right! It is not sisterly! It is not kind!

So - I have opened this secret thread, visible only to our eyes (unless the damn mins get wise to the fact that we can see in other spectra to those visible to their dull eyes, and use ultra-violet spectacles) to instruct TGAS in the secret lore.

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First, the chocolate milk.

It is widely believed, by the mins, that this is a drink needed by women who are pre-menstrual - sometimes, this is so - but, of course, there is a deeper meaning. When chocolate milk is mentioned around a male person, it is a call to be wary of said person - he is being watched - he may be invisibly tagged, so that his movements and associations can be considered - and action (I need say no more, of course) may need to be taken.

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dlowan...are we not going to insist that he...uh, she first undergo the Sacred Sisterhood Initiation Rites? I will heat the wax...you get the tweezers.

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Now, dearest Totally, if I may call you this?

Some of the sisters have seemed to advise depilation and such - my dear, don't!

Mins LOVE hairy women (http://www.blogit.com/Blogs/Blog.aspx/HotwriterHairy/138429) - the hairier the better! And remember, wash seldom and sparingly! They love our natural pheromones - just as we love theirs - sadly, men do not know this, and wash and spritz all their lovely natural odours away. If only we could tell them not to wash! But - 'tis too late - 'twould hurt their feelings now....

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Pssssst! No, no, Eva! We are telling her the TRUTH here!!!!! This is a secret, SAFE place!

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Okay, we'll dispense with the Ritual Bikini-Line Depilation Rites. But what about the Correct Insertion of Tampon Relay Race?

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Later - later - first things first...by the way, isn't it a pity we cannot tell the mins about the glories of so called "bad" breath! Sigh - if only we had spoken back when there was still time - just THINK how many more opportunities they might have for wonderful sex!

And the hypnotic qualities of ball-scratching, and various forms of the liberation of wind!

Alas....

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Shall we tell her about the REAL meaning of the dark goddess, chocolate, herself? Unameliorated by milk?

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Are you going to invite TGAS to our next 2 A.M. Burping Party? Belching is one of my favorite things, and I always learn something new at these parties. Is the next one to be at your place or mine? I forgot...

...and who's bringing the beer this time?

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dlowan wrote:

Shall we tell her about the REAL meaning of the dark goddess, chocolate, herself? Unameliorated by milk?

Not until she pays her dues. Which rate did you quote her...the Innocent-Young-Thing rate or the Been-There-Done-That rate?

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I believe we go with the honour system on that one - she must make that call.

She does not look wealthy to me - I think we ought to make the rate nominal.

Beer? I HATE beer!

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Secret code #10:

If we wimins dress like the Victoria's Secret girls we expect mins to act like soap opera hunks

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At the belching party, nobody braid my hair! The last time ya did it, it came out all flippy the next day. Thanks in advance.

PS TGAS, here are your lifetime subscriptions to Cosmo, Elle, Us, Madamoiselle, Seventeen, Tiger Beat, Women's Day and Ladies' Home Journal. Don't forget to take every relationships quiz in them.

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Hey! I am beginning to become suspicious that I am not being treated as a full member! I don't have subscriptions, nor do I read, ANY of those!!!!

What gives, sistren?

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I say we forgive the damn dues - and tell her about the chocolate - the TRUTH!

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dlowan wrote:

Hey! I am beginning to become suspicious that I am not being treated as a full member

Oh yeah, you're full alright. Chock full of it.

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I believe you are the victim of a cruel hoax....Totally Girly and Such is Gus, made up and ready for his Tuesday night transexual amateur dancing host job at the local strip bar.......

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Oh ye of little faith!

Who the smeg let you in here anyway?

Are you guys women?

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You cannot ban us based on our sex.....wake up and smell the jock strap......

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dlowan wrote:

Hey! I am beginning to become suspicious that I am not being treated as a full member! I don't have subscriptions, nor do I read, ANY of those!!!!

What gives, sistren?

We knew you felt that way, deb, so we cancelled your subscriptions. No need to thank us. That's what sisters are for. Smile

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Secret women only thread for sisterhood induction of TGAS.

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