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Sat 11 Oct, 2014 06:19 pm
Yeah, I did just quote Kings of Leon^…
Anyway, I met a guy online and we got together and really hit it off. We go to the same university which is how we connected. There were a few dates and I absolutely loved being with him. There were signals that made me think he might’ve felt the same about me. It seemed like I knew him so well right after meeting him, like I’d already known him. It was a strange feeling, but it was so right. Needless to say, I started to fall fast and hard.
He texted me one night after having been behaving strangely and told me he found out something tragic concerning his family and needed some time (a week or two), but he did like me. I told him it’s alright, I understood, I’d be there if he needed someone to talk to, the whole nine yards. Well, I lasted a week and a half before I caved and texted him, saying I was thinking about him, hoped everything was okay, and that if he was up for it i’d like to meet up for coffee.
He replied saying that he wanted to tell me the reason he was upset over a family situation was that his grandfather died shortly after his grandma was hospitalized due to stress. He said he sincerely does like me but he was really close with his grandfather and needs to focus on one thing at a time… He said he’s sorry, that he honestly wishes he could be with me, but he’s not interested in dating right now. He added that if I’m still single when he’s better that he’d call me as soon as he can.
I want so badly to forget about him, but all of this feels like waking from the best dream I could ever have. I want to go back to it but I can’t. There’s nothing I can say or do to get him to change his mind.
Am I crazy to hope he’ll call? Will this get easier? It’s like my life just became the movie, “Swingers”, just less eventful. I can’t take my mind off the situation. What do I do? What do you think about it all?
Thanks in advance for your advice!
I strongly suspect, because a similar thing happened to me at that age, that he got cold feet and made up the grandfather story to dump you without saying "I don't want this to go on any more". Maybe his grandfather did die, maybe not. Possibly he sensed this "fast and hard" thing and alarm bells started ringing because he wasn't ready for that. Maybe he thinks the thing that should take up a big part of his energy right now is... guess what? His studies! To get a good degree from a university course (or even to finish it!) requires plenty of effort, hard work and focus. You need to remember this too. Your course should be the big thing in your life right now. He may or may not contact you again. Do not moon around waiting for this to happen. Your university should offer counselling services for students going through emotional difficulty and you should review these and consider using them. You need to focus on the life you have and which you need to manage, and not the dream or movie you wish your life was.
@emme987,
Disregard the last poster - He's out of his depth here. Contrex, you idiot.
Give your guy the space he requires. His grief may be extreme and he may need time to adjust.
Ask yourself this - If your mother died today - would you be dating anytime soon?
Now, just assume, your fella is as attached to his grandad as you are to your mum???
And btw - How dare you assume your pithy love-interests supercede a persons familial grief!
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