Did I lead him on?

Forums: Shame On You, Relationships, Cheating
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I went to a clubbing event with a group of friends. I am in a long distance relationship so my boyfriend couldn't make it and I was bummed out. We'd been together for a few years now. A few guys asked me to dance and I did, but I never let it get too far nor did I ever give out my number. It was just for fun.
For the last guy I danced with, let's call him J, I let it get too far. We were grinding on the dancefloor & he asked for my number many times, but of course I said "no, i'm not interested". Then he actually bought me a drink and tried to get to know me. We made out for a bit and he wanted to give me his number. Since he was so persistent, I let him but I never gave out my number. We spent about an hour together and he told me he liked me and gave me his jacket at the end of the night because I was cold. He was really sweet to me, but I could tell he was really "thirsty" too.

It's been 2 days and I feel bad for cheating on my boyfriend. But I also feel bad for leading J on.
I have 2 questions:
(1) Should I text J (through a texting app) and just tell him sorry for leading him on, that I have a bf? Just so we can both get some closure?
(2) Should I confess to my boyfriend what I did?

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@justatypicalgirl,

Yes, you led him on.

(1) Don't text him. Contact is contact.

(2) Don't confess. It isn't going to make him feel a bit better.

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@roger,

Roger covers it just fine.

No texting. Remove yourself and if you did reply, J will feel there's a glimmer of hope.

No confession to your b/f is in order. it won't accomplish anything productive.

Going out and clubbing and dancing is fine but when alcohol and intimate dancing get all mixed in together, are exciting...but you can lose sight of your existing romance. Alcohol lowers inhibition. But you need to decide ahead of time in the future what sort of temptations you want to put in your path. This might be a sign that the arrangement you have is not working out for you.

Just don't dwell on having regrets about the new sparks with this guy you just met. Unless this long-distance relationship is just not working out at all. If that is the case, work that through FIRST before you start up something new.

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@Ragman,

From a womans point of view, I give the same answers as roger and ragman.

No and no.

First no because chances are no matter how "thirsty" (whatever that means) he was, I'm quite sure he's figured out you're not going to call him, and has moved on. Even if he hasn't quite given up hope you'll call him, believe me honey, he soon will. Not to sound negative towards you, but I believe you are overestimating your lasting effect on someone you knew for a few hours. The reason he kept asking for you number is he wanted to get laid, and he knew repeatedly asking for your number was going to play up to your emotions.

Second no is all it'll do is stir up trouble.

Actually, either of the things you're thinking about will do nothing but stir up trouble. So, unless you're a drama queen looking for some kind of twisted attention, let sleeping dogs lie.

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@justatypicalgirl,

You should do both. That was not nice of you to do to your boyfriend.

He should forgive you. But he might do away with you.

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