Ascots

You tightly wrap it around your head and pull all the stuff to the back and tie it in a knot so your head is tightly outlined.
Ascots out, do-rags in.

If you gotta wear an ascot, wear it with overalls and suspenders. I think Gus has a whole ensemble of Oshkosh and waffled longsleeve underwear shirts.

That is sort of the look I would go for, farmerman. It's polyester, so forget about wearing it with a proper suit.

Perhaps a monacle as well, it might just top the outfit off.

Oh yeah, a monacle. That would rock. Sadly, I can't seem to grow a handlebar moustache, but I could cut a few locks off my head and glue them to my face. Now I wonder if an ascot could be tied into a comfy diaper. Then it would be living up to it's name...'ascot'...heh heh.

...... this is the look you should strive for......

(the butterfly is optional)

Looks like he's just examining the butterfly for quality before he eats it. Hey, is that from The New Yorker?

it is -- thought it lookt familiar...

Okay, I think I have my new look now: Ascot diaper, monacle, stained undershirt, hockey helmet, and a baby carriage full of stinky garbage. Whaddya think...would that play on the 'performance art' circuit?