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Mon 3 Feb, 2014 11:29 pm
A long time ago, my sister confessed to us that our uncle (fathers brother) had instructed her to give him a hand job when she was 7. The incident occurred 20 years ago, and my father asked her why she didn't tell him when it happened. She said she felt she would get into trouble at first, and then after that she just never wanted to talk about it. She just wanted to put the past behind her.
So, it was decided that we would simply never speak of it for a lot of reasons:
-it happened a long time ago
-my sister doesn't want anyone else to know about it
-we never see him anyway
-he has a family now and has (hopefully) changed his ways
So, nobody but me, my 3 sisters, and my mom and dad know. And our uncle never knew that our sister told us, since nobody ever came to punch him in the face for what he did. Still, it upsets me that the guy was never punished. What would you do in my situation? Is there really anything to do but respect my sisters decision to put the past behind her? And isn't this an injustice that this pedophile is walking around amongst us?
I'm sorry for the pain in your Family.
I was molested as a young boy of 9, actually one week before turning 10. I remember it well, although I've never spent much energy feeling sorry for myself. However, as a consequence I've always kept a very close eye on my children to protect them. When my daughter was I guess 10 or 11, she told me how she was fondled by my best friends son that was around 15. I chose to let it go and not have the boy punished. I asked my daughter what her wishes were, she concurred with me. I counseled my daughter, she seemed fine then and all appearances of having grown up unaffected. The thing is, children are going to do things in the growing up process that make us adults shudder. Doesn't make any sense to blow things out of proportion and scare them for life.
In your Sisters case ......... she should be in total control of what to do or not, period. The same as my daughter.
Now for the crux of your question. If your Uncle was an adult, then I would not be so forgiving. He has no excuse. I would have a hard time dropping it knowing that he may be molesting his own children. I really have no answers though ...... other than abide by your sister's wishes in full.
@Notsure44,
Yes, he was a full grown adult in his 30's when this occurred, while my sister was just 7 years old. That's why I can't help but hate him for having done that to my sister, who was not only his blood relative, but also just a little girl!
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