Judgemental People AGHHH!!!

well here's a thought to cheer you up--it gets worse as you get older, on the other hand you learn not to care what others think and hopefully live your own life your own way. I figure people can tell you how to live when they volunteer to take you place dying, in the meantime do your own living.

loser_kid_182_ You have a good attitude about being yourself and being open to differences in others, but be careful of hating those who are judgemental--that just makes you judgemental also.

Are you artistic or creative in other ways? I've often noticed that creative people do tend to go their own way without lots of concern for the opinions of others. My younger son was just like that--still is at age 27.

I dont care what others think of me at all. it just that one of my freinds almost comited suicide because of sumone doing that stuf too them.

Loser_kid_182_, It's unfortunate that a few kids let the stupid insults of other kids lead them to suicide.

I always told my sons that whenever someone said something to them that was insulting or hurtful, those people were really describing themselves.

I dont really hate them ...i just dont like them... that much...and i yes i guess i am creative and artistic.
Me myself i am only 14 and i want to make a difference/help those kids that dont feel wanted at school and sumtimes at home.
My life is great and i have a friend who is cutting her wrist because of her dad always yelling at her and sometimes hitting her. and another one who everyone at school is always complaning about for no reson just becuase of how they are and they always ask me why i hang out with her, she just like any of my other friends, and she says she haste her life because of them.
Eveyone at my school calls me a freak, punk, goth and stuff i dont care about them saying that becuase i am the only one there that dresses the way i do so i am a indaviualist (cant spell that) and they think i dress like that to be cool and stuff and if i wanted to be cool why would i dress like that if they all make fun of me ...i odnt get that but yeh....

Hi, lkid182 (i just can't type the l word).

I grew up not too far from where you are, and I still spend some time in the area occasionally. You're not in an easy place to be an individual. It's good that you like different types of people, and want to be there for your friends. Things will be easier for you in some ways when you get older - you'll already be someone who can get along with different types of people - while the people who are all the same now, with friends who are like them, are going to be having a harder time getting along in the world.

Good on ya for being a creative individualist.



(just think it could be worse - you could be in Tweed :wink: )

You aren't a loser.

The way most people feel good about themselves is to find someone else to put down. People who interact a little differently, or have less money, or look different are easy targets for assholes.

Hold your head up. Stand up for the ones who get put down, if you're strong enough to take the **** you'll attract. It's a great endeavor.

I'd love it if you could turn the tables on one of these people the next time they try to crap on you or your friend-- Everybody has a weakness--something they're petrified people will notice. They're desperate to keep attention focused on 'easy targets' to keep themselves safe from public humiliation.

The jock, who is failing (or has a small dick).
The popular kid, who is afraid he might be gay. {Not avocating gay bashing in any sense--but these jocks are sometimes the worst offenders--they feel they have to PROVE their masculinity by crapping on other guys...}
Too fat, zits, insecure, big nose, ...

Stupid things, but enough to cause desperation and bullying.

Don't buy into it. I feel like the people like you are the most sensitive, free and best among us. You don't go along to get along. (Although dressing goth isn't individualistic...)

It is a hard road-- the road less travelled-- In the end, it will be well worth the trouble.

PS-- Take Martial Arts, and learn how to love yourself.

My best to you, young warrior.

Im not goth but people just call me that. and tweed uh i used to live there and ivisit one of my friends there i dont really noe much about it but my friend hates it there....Matrial arts....uh...i..dont...think...so...i used to be in it when i was like in grade 4 or sumthing...i...dint like that much...

Try and have patience with judgemental people, don't discard them as friends... maybe try to encourage them to adjust their view of things. Show them that those they are judging have great qualities along with the faults.

Just a thought

OK...I was being glib about the martial arts...I didn't want to suggest 'standing up for yourself' without some way to protect yourself, in case you're who and what you say you are...

I thought the odds were you were one of the regulars here, having fun as an alter ego, or a newbie, impersonating someone in the circumstances you outlined...so my advice was not really realistic/useful.

uhh. okay...

lk182 - unfortunately, your peers are engaging in a time-honored tradition of ripping one another apart with judgments. This probably happened since the days of the caveman, when 14-year-old cave kids snickered and told each other, "Nice woolly mammoth skin. Not!"

When I was 14 (1976 - 77 - WAY before you were born), I was persecuted for lots of fun things, including the fact that I wasn't a fashion plate (I'm still not) and that my hair and makeup weren't absolutely, 100% perfect by the standards of the day. Look back on pictures of the time, though, and you'll see that I look more or less like a basic teen looks today (straight blonde hair, tee shirts and blue jeans), whereas my female peers all look dreadfully dated, with feathered hair, loads of blue eye shadow, bedazzled jeans and chunky shoes.

You get the idea. This is nothing new. We've all been through it, and pretty much everyone hates it, yet it continues to happen. Why? I'm not sure. Perhaps it's because you're at a time in your lives when you are all deciding on future acceptable behavior. Perhaps it's because pretty much everyone feels awkward, so people pick one another apart so as to not get picked apart themselves. I don't know.

One thing you can do, though, is seek out people who are more accepting. They need not look like you and, if they are truly accepting, such things will not matter to them. Another thing you can do is to act out your frustrations in a positive manner, such as through artistic expression. When I was in Junior High, and then in High School, I did Drama Club-type stuff. That helped to bring me out of my shell and focus on something other than how klutzy I felt. Being a character can make it easier to be yourself (I know that sounds odd, but it does work), because you work on being polished. It's almost like social practice.

You may also feel better if you are able to, at times, hang out with people who are a little older and have gotten past this stage in their lives. Since you are 14, it's not appropriate for you to hang out with 18-year-olds, but 16-year-olds are probably fine.

This is not an easy time in your life, and there isn't much more I can offer you except that everyone - even the kids who seem to be beautiful, popular and totally together - is having the exact same problems that you are.

The best revenge is living well.....

I was one of the first of five people in Lynchburg Va. (Home of Jerry Falwell) to grow their hair long in 1964, and used to actually get into fist fights in public about it, and I didn't weigh 100 lbs. until I was 25.

My high school principal, Sister Hilda, told me that if I thought I could make a living playing rock music and just doing as I pleased I was sadly mistaken I dropped out of high school (I DON"T recomend that you do that) and went on the road with my first band and never looked back.

I'm now 55, I played with Warrant night before last to a packed Concert Hall, I still do pretty much what I please, and anyone who doesn't approve can kiss my still skinny ass.

I also make a nice living and I'm comfortable. I have five children who all realize that they can do whatever they set their minds to doing, and are totally unconcerned with the opinions of others.

Be yourself, do as you please within the law, and screw 'em if they can't take a joke.

PS Sister Hilda passed away and went to be with Jesus, so we both have what we wanted. Don't you love a happy ending?

heh most of my friends are older then me...from like my age to 19.