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Screwups of the Year ...

 
 
au1929
 
Reply Wed 18 Dec, 2002 07:58 pm
Rolling Eyes

When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at its intended victim during a holdup in Long Beach, California, would be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder: He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.
Embarrassed
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The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting machine and, after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his company. The company, suspecting negligence, sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine out and lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved. Surprised
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A man shoveled snow for an hour to clear space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago. He returned with his vehicle only to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her. Women.... go figure.... Evil or Very Mad

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After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus-stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride.
He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.

Confused **********************************************************************
An American teenager was in the hospital yesterday recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he the received injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.
Idea **********************************************************************
A mother took her daughter to the doctor and asked him to give her an examination to determine the cause of her daughters swollen abdomen. It only took the doctor about 2 seconds to say "Your daughter is pregnant." The mother turned red with fury and she argued with the doctor that her daughter was a good girl and would never compromise her reputation by
having sex with a boy. The doctor faced the window and silently watched the horizon. The mother became enraged and screamed, "Quit looking out the window! Aren't you paying attention to me?" "Yes, of course I am paying attention ma'am. It's just that the last time this happened, a star appeared in the East, and three wise men came. And I was hoping that they would show up again Shocked
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Type: Discussion • Score: 1 • Views: 3,142 • Replies: 32
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Diane
 
  1  
Reply Wed 18 Dec, 2002 09:59 pm
For pity's sake, why am I laughing? A couple of those stories are sick. Still chuckling.
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Tommy
 
  1  
Reply Thu 19 Dec, 2002 02:50 pm
More Please Au!!
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dlowan
 
  1  
Reply Thu 19 Dec, 2002 02:56 pm
Oh dear - how did such a species ever come to dominate the poor planet....
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patiodog
 
  1  
Reply Thu 19 Dec, 2002 03:31 pm
Complete disregard for common sense, dlow. We're the only ones who have it.

Incidentally, I don't doubt the Chicago parking tale one bit. It's very serious business. In fact, in many neighborhoods people leave their furniture in "their" space when they vacate it, and some folks won't hesitate to vandalize your car if you have the nerve to move the furniture and park on their little bit of public street. And they continue to do this for some weeks after the snow has ceased to fall.
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Dartagnan
 
  1  
Reply Thu 19 Dec, 2002 04:55 pm
Can I suggest another competitor?
A U.S. senator with an important position in his party tells the audience at a televised event that the country would've been better off if a segregationist candidate had been elected president 54 years ago.
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patiodog
 
  1  
Reply Thu 19 Dec, 2002 05:01 pm
D-art -

C'mon, I think we're sticking to believable stories here!
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BillW
 
  1  
Reply Thu 19 Dec, 2002 05:03 pm
Ahhhhh, but politics -dhem serious bidness.
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Dartagnan
 
  1  
Reply Thu 19 Dec, 2002 05:05 pm
I knew, patiodog, that I was stretching things a bit, but when I saw the topic, I couldn't resist!
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cicerone imposter
 
  1  
Reply Thu 19 Dec, 2002 07:19 pm
D'art, That same senator also stated in public that he relates to Jefferson Davis more than any other American. That's the truth! c.i.
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babsatamelia
 
  1  
Reply Fri 20 Dec, 2002 02:45 am
As I was seriously hunting for a parking spot
in a packed area of town, and ALL parallel
parking....I came up to a free space and
naturally I hopped on it. A few moments later,
a salesperson attempting to get a parking
spot [to go talk the physicians into prescribing
his drug] came up to my car window, and
told me that I HAD STOLEN HIS PARKING
PLACE. Well, naturally I told him that he
was no where in sight while I parked. He
became more irate, claiming to have SEEN
the parking spot FIRST, which gave him DIBS
over me. I parked - said, "sorry, buddy, but
I am parked, & I am late for a class, so I
suggest you go hunting for another spot.
When I returned, he had bashed my driver
side window in with his briefcase. IN the middle
of winter. Rude fellow
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Phoenix32890
 
  1  
Reply Fri 20 Dec, 2002 07:47 am
babsatamelia- Sorry about your window- This is just another sad example of propensity of supposed adults to stay fixated at an adolescent level of behavior. Too bad that you did not get his license plate. Over the years, when I have been in similar situations, that is exactly what I do..... just in case!
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Smitty
 
  1  
Reply Sat 21 Dec, 2002 10:54 pm
In all honesty it would be the Bill C-68 here in Canada on f/arms control & registering of ALL guns, yet h/guns have been registered since 1934. What was to be 85 Million dollars turned out to be an over 1 Billion dollar boondoggle & the costs will continue. It was only noticed by the Auditor General & she dropped the ball in the lap of the Liberal Govt., & they cannot come up with were all the money was wasted. An over 500% error in judgment has to be the doozer of all time.
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cicerone imposter
 
  1  
Reply Sat 21 Dec, 2002 11:16 pm
Smitty, Don't come to such quick conclusions about 500% boondoggles of Canada. I'm sure it will not take too long for any A2Ker to find many of those in the US, but it's such a depressing subject. c.i.
0 Replies
 
timberlandko
 
  1  
Reply Sat 21 Dec, 2002 11:27 pm
Smitty, the Canayjuns can't even begin to approach the fiscal lunacy of $1000 coffee makers, $600 Toilet Seats, or $1500 Hammers. There are many ways in which The US "Leads the World" .... and in the category of incomprehendibly stupid spending, there are not even any close rivals.



timber
0 Replies
 
maxsdadeo
 
  1  
Reply Sat 21 Dec, 2002 11:38 pm
How else does one drive $300 nails but with $1500 hammers?
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au1929
 
  1  
Reply Sun 22 Dec, 2002 09:06 am
Max

<<How else does one drive $300 nails but with $1500 hammers?>>

Very gently!
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cicerone imposter
 
  1  
Reply Sun 22 Dec, 2002 11:23 am
Those nails must be made from silver. In California, our great govenor has overspent the budget during his first four years, and the people of California re-voted that [email protected]&((xx$$$$$ back in for another four. This budget incompetent is now trying to make up an over 30 billion shortfall with small cuts here and there, and a tax increase. I guess we gotta blame ourselves for our stupid voting record. People never learn: I won't live long enough to see any changes. c.i.
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BillW
 
  1  
Reply Sun 22 Dec, 2002 12:19 pm
c.i., you are suggesting the alternative was a great choice? I am perplexed - ha!
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timberlandko
 
  1  
Reply Sun 22 Dec, 2002 12:52 pm
c.i., it seems to me The Voters of The State of California, in common with voters elsewhere, create many of their own problems. Proposition 13 comes to mind, as does Utility Deregulation. The folks over there on the Left Coast pretty much saddled themselves with those fiscal wonders.



timber
0 Replies
 
 

 
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