maybe once in a blue moon i'll give... living in nyc turned me off to the process of being generous bcos there were an incredibly high number of homeless. you could go bankrupt in about 5 blocks...
one time a guy asked me for spare change. i walked a few feet past, and feeling guilty, i was about to see what i had in my pocket when he cursed me out, thinking i wasn't gonna give him anything. so i told him he was about to get what he wanted but he blew it. he immediately reverted back to begging, even pleading -- but i didn't placate him. hopefully he learned a lesson that day.
Having lived in NY, one of the reasons, (besides the others that I have mentioned before) that I would not give to panhandlers is because I would be concerned about taking out my wallet in front of him. You never know!
I keep spare change in my pocket to avoid that.
I wouldn't want to reach into my wallet, pull out a bunch of twentyies, and go searching for a one or a quarter in front of someone. the amount i give depends on the person. there are some I try to ignore.
I won't give to bums under any circumstances. I just walk (or drive) away.
I buy the Spare Change news regularly. We also often have leftover food from events at work that I bring to local homeless shelter. When I have change in my pocket, i give. I agree with suzy that it is better to be cheated, than not to trust. I was cheated quite a few times, and i am from slovakia, where we have the same babushki, and romanian gypsies staging misery on the streets, often faking a missing limb or whatnot, but i still give. not to everyone. i never give money to begging children, for they always have the money taken away by whoever sent them out (saw that many times), or to drug users and alcoholics (after awhile you know who's who on the street). i even read the spare change news and follow the destinies of some of the homeless that are trying to make it by selling the spare change news. some succeed and that keeps me wanting to give.
pretty much everyone on the street (even those that are just trying to get some quick cash on the side) is there because of some problem and i try hard not to look down on those people and understand where they are coming from and why are they there. naive? so be it. as a former non-giver, i did not come to think this way overnight and prefer it to passing these people pretending they don't exist.
Being an inveterate hitch hiker and train hopper in my younger days, I found myself among street people quite often. Once you make their acquaintance, many are sympathetic and generally very kind hearted. Of course I give them money, even if they are standing with one foot inside a liquor store.
I usually say something like, "No, sorry." On a rare occasion I have given money. I really feel for them, however, I do give money, food and organize drives for a homeless shelter. Also, I have two other concerns, where they use the money and if they really need the money.
Here is one story - One day, a friend and I walked by a "homeless" woman with a sign saying hungry, and similar. My friend told me, I know her. She went to so and so college with me. A private college where most of the students are pretty wealthy. Wouldn't you know several days later I read an article in the newspaper. Basically the article said the following, The writer was waiting in his car for a friend who was running to the bank. While waiting, the writer noticed this "homeless" woman described exactly as the woman I saw with the sign. He was thinking of offering to buy her something to eat, but while he was waiting he saw this man that apparently looked blind, dark glasses and cane walk up to her. The two of them got up together, walked to a car and drove off (the blind man driving of course). The man in the car then wrote down the license plate of the car. Later on he used his RMV connections and got the name, address and phone number. The address was in a moderate level income town in the Boston area. He called of course and basically said what he saw. The man hung up on him. He called back later and the woman answered. He said why are you panhandling if you apparently have money considering where you live and the car you drive. Her response was that just because they have a nice home and car, they still need money. They were saving up to get married!
After that I stopped giving money so freely.
The exception doesn't make the rule and excuses are easy to find.
We all know there are hundreds if not thousands of homeless people on the streets of the cities we live in. I don't fault anyone who doesn't give on the street. The dangers surely seem to outweigh the benefits. Funny thing is, we see the scams of the unfortunates as bigger crimes than the well off, easier to persecute I guess.
Some street scams are more sophisticated than others. For those who are truly clever, I don't understand why they don't put that talent to better use.
Ceili - I do not think that scams of the unfortunates as bigger crimes than the well off and in the particular case I mentioned no one was prosecuted. To me it sounds discouraging in that here are people willing to part with their hard earned money to help some one who is in need and unfortunately these people are willing to take advantage of their big hearts. Many people I know that give their money so freely cannot really afford to that is what makes it so disheartening.
I also think that many people are not using this as an excuse against helping others. As many of the posts state these same individuals unwilling to give money to pan handlers are more than willing to give to local homeless shelters and other agencies and to buy food rather than to hand over money that may not be used to help the homeless situation, but in fact encourage it.
I'd rather be taken for my money twenty times than refuse one who honestly begs.
never do, can't tell the ones in need and the scams.
I direct them to shelters, churches.
I set them on fire.
I usually don't give them any money. Sometimes I'll toss some extra change from my pocket, but I've never opened my wallet. Once I was in a big ATM booth, and a bunch of them were laying in the corner. When I turned around from the ATM, one of them was standing about 2 feet behind me, and just stood there asking for money. That was crossing the line...I gave him a pretty stuck up response.
