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never had an orgasm

 
 
Reply Tue 12 Feb, 2013 07:53 am
well... i'm 30. Never actually gotten off. Gotten close (i think) a few rare times. Been divorced for a few years now. My ex-husband was very attentive sexually but I just never could achieve anything. I have heard the first time for a girl is hard and subsequent gets easier. I don't know. Maybe not. But I finally met a guy who is absolutely wonderful and I don't exactly want to pretend and chance hurt feelings later. We've been dating for about 6 months and I know the tension is building. I have been somewhat ignoring his advances for sex because I am not sure how to go about admitting something so huge. It's not a fear of him saying "oh well I don't want anything to do with you now." like it might seem. More so that, well... lets face it... you'd feel like quite a goober admitting such a thing. So I secretly pray I can accomplish this myself before I actually sleep with him. Not too realistic I know. Anyway, any thoughts on this would be appreciated. Anyone else had/known someone who had this problem? Ideas on how to "get off"?
 
nqyringmind
 
  3  
Reply Wed 13 Feb, 2013 06:59 pm
@fraggle0822,
1. Relax
2. Don't be so preoccupied
3. Foreplay

Perhaps not being so uptight about it and having an honest conversation with him might be a good thing....thus the term "sexual PARTNERS"
0 Replies
 
PUNKEY
 
  1  
Reply Mon 4 Mar, 2013 08:18 am
If you limit your sexual experiences to insisting that you "get off" every time, you will die an old maid.

It's the JOURNEY that is supposed to be enjoyable. This is not a marathon.

Someday you will get there.
0 Replies
 
jack2013
 
  1  
Reply Sun 22 Dec, 2013 04:02 am
@fraggle0822,
Dear fraggle, I hope you have finally achieved it and managed to experience the "getting off" pleasure.
I am a 32 years old man, I am not a specialist nor a sex doctor so the answers I can give to you are based on my own experience only.

When I was younger I and my ex-girlfriends used to have a similar problem. It was always, either they never had orgasm with me or it was rare for them to get off. It was very frustrating for me and even more for them...

It's been a long time since you posted this, maybe you managed to finally get there already and I hope so. If not please let me know and I can share more of my experience with you and possibly help with some hints.
0 Replies
 
eed5d061d397b1
 
  1  
Reply Wed 15 Jan, 2014 05:08 pm
@fraggle0822,
1. Relax
2. Don't be so preoccupied
3. Foreplay
0 Replies
 
kerryb
 
  1  
Reply Sun 19 Jul, 2015 06:05 pm
@fraggle0822,
I am lesbian and my wife hardly has an orgasm either.......have you heard of a bullet? (sex toy) She always gets off with that. Its a little silver bullet and you let it vibrate on your clit. Works fantastic!! Me on the other hand, can have orgasims all the time, but mainly when my clit is played with. Have you tried to masturbate by rubbing your clit? Anyway, hope that helps! Good luck!
0 Replies
 
HesDeltanCaptain
 
  1  
Reply Mon 3 Aug, 2015 10:48 am
@fraggle0822,
If you're looking at sexual relationships with men as what's involved getting off you need to google female masturbation and start doing that. Men are at best optional for a woman's sexual pleasure. (As are women for a man's for that matter.) Learn how to orgasm masturbating, and things tend to work themselves out with partner-sex a lot easier. But many women who write about never having achieved an orgasms do so often enough because they never became comfortable enough masturbating to do so. As soon as you change that, your non-orgasmic state of being will change too.

There's also a growing body of evidence that presents a very convincing arguement circumcision plays a part in inhbiting the woman's pleasure as well as the man's. Thought it was just a cover for anti-semitism (being Jewish,) but looking into it it makes some very solid points about the the 'hook' aspect of the head of our penis when circumcized vs 'natural.' The claim with it then is circumcized penises are less pleasurable than 'natural.' While not expert on the issues, it's very compelling some of the arguements.
0 Replies
 
 

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