Firstly: get an emu
Secondly: Go to Hawaii
Thirdly: Toss emu into lava-flow
Fourthly: Enjoy the show
I, in no way advocate the use of emus or any other pointless, flightless birds in this procedure, and intend no harm or cruelty to any living thing............ Unless its Setanta or Ossobucco, who are utter ******* retards, of course.
Do as thou will unto them, for I giveth not a toss...