sex,marriage,porn, and denial.

i am a 24 yr old female. 3 children. been with my common in law since i was 15 years old. our kids range from 6-2. Anyhow... recently my "husband" asked me to make a online account for his cellphone , billing reasons and so fort. Well , i discovered i am able to read text messages , and see the urls' visited . its awful i know , but ever now and again , ill have a little peek ( just cause i know i can! ) He works out of town , and only see him one day a week. its deffently made me more secure on the whole working out of town thing... I am in fantastic shape for having my 3 babies, most people think i am the sitter as i am very younge , and in such great shape. i leave my hair long and bleach it cause thats how HE likes it. i make effort every week to buy fishnet dress's , crotchless bodysuits, etc. We have a healthy sex life ( well , hes got it pretty good.. i am a different story) i am willing to pretty much do anything that makes him happy. the last thing i want to do on my only night of possibly sleeping in , is spend the whole night up , but i do, every week , religiously. and i smile when i do it. my problem is , i noticed from his cell transactions , that he watches alot of porn. We both do , at times , as he works away.... but its excessive. like...250 sites visited perday. the man works 12-16hour days! the times are there also , hes on each site only for a min or two , but its juring smoke breaks , lunch , sometimes 6am , sometimes 1am. i find it insulting. I have nothing against porn , but god... i feel like i am being used. like he works himself up all week , then uses me to get out the aggression he has from all this porn all week. I sometimes wonder if he even thinks of me , or if hes pictureing some porn star, This is really bothing me. anyone eles have these problems? like i said above , i am fit , i am pretty , i keep the house spotless for his return , i usually greet him(once kids are sleeping of course! ) in fishnets and hands him a glass of rum.. i mean , if he asked me for ANYTHING i would ... the thing is when i ask about the porn ( not leading that i already kno ) he clams up. he refuses to discuss it.. i think someone to watch a porn here or there. even once a day is ok. but all day long, every spare moment? Really? it makes me not feel good enough. it really does. i sent him a few personal cell videos and i dont get a whole lot of response besides a simple " hot " or " i like " , i walk to the grocery store with a stroller , in sweat pants , and i get more attention from the local drivers. it seems like everyone (most , sorry if it sounds cocky ) finds me attractive, and i justy dont get that from him. i bust my ass to please him ,and nothing..... hes like a clam . closed tight. the only thing he wants to discuss is work , or the kids. if he wants to be more sexually....excited per say. all he has to do is say it. ive told him many times. another thing i noticed is he watches alot of "gangbang " porn... only its not 5 girls 1 guy. its the 5 guys 1 girl . i know people have certian kinda porn they like.... but he REALLLLY likes this one. his phone records prove it... why do i feel this way. i feel like refuseing to greeting him sexiley , and instead be eating fast food pizza, in my sweats , watching sex and the city.

sorry about this rant....i am really confussed about this... someone may have some kinda lead way on this topic for me , as ive clearly ran out of ideas..