Is it wrong to be angry about being...well alive?

Okay, perhaps I shouldn't ask...as I really don't care nor think it is wrong to think this way.

Just..well...I'm a christian rapidly loosing faith and more identifying with atheisim than anything else.

I guess I am angry being here, on earth that is....being alive. I find it disgusting in so many ways.

The crap one has to put up with, the everyday garbage, it's tedious and meaningless to me. (explative ahead) that shower, a **** and a shave of every day life??? It's such a screaming vortex of the nothing to me.

I'm starting to view the creator as some sort of twisted "puppy mill" owner, leaving us trapped on a finite resourced world to battle it out amongst ourselves?

And then, when we don't "do it right" we may get punished? Really who does that? Would you raise dogs in a small shed, and then beat them when they act up and run out of food?

Well ya know...I never asked to be on this boat, and I resent the forced enslavement to life. I would have prefered an interview WARNING me that this video game had all this crap involved.

I almost feel I remember non-exsistance, and wish for it. Who wants to feel anymore....I love the quiet, the silence, the nothing.

If there is a god, and the end comes, I may just ask for destruction absolute. No heaven, no so called hell...just a release into oblivion!

And yes, I understand this may sound nutty!

Cheers and have a happy holiday!