Getting Shot for Calling Women Ladies in London?

I hate being referred to as a lady, unless the person knows me very well. I've ranted about it several times, most notably slowing down a round of golf a few years ago, while I was verbally pinning someone's ears back.

Ma'am - cringe.

You don't like being called "lady?"

I'll not forget . . . Yes Ma'am ! ! !



heeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheehee . . .

okbye

Hmmmm - wondered if the story was a beat up.

I see no point in objecting to being referred to as "lady" in one off situations - you know, "have you served the lady in the green shirt" - "this lady wants a cordless drill, can you help her?" - no point biting people's heads off for no reason. I do think courtesy is important.

Nobody I actually spend time with uses it anyway. They would not dream of it, because of who they are- they have their own judgment about such things, and made the decision for themselves years ago.

Ma'am??? That is so seldom used here that it would make me smile - and blink! I would see no reason to object to it (though I would squirm inside) - unless it was somebody I was going to be relating with for any length of time - in which case I would just say call me Deb. I mean, if they are calling you ma'am they must be doing it to be polite.

It is difficult, in service industries, to know what to call people. I could never come at sir or madam - except very rarely - I used to just smile and not call them anything. I don't think you should snap at anyone who is just meaning to be polite.

Chick makes me want to be sick, but it is so universal again that I would object only if it was being used by someone to whom I was going to be close. Again, nobody I spend time with would use it.

Love and such differ, I think, in context.

If it is used to demean - calling women "love" and words like that have often been used deliberately here in some situations to attempt to put the woman you are speaking to in her place. I would object very strongly if it were used in that way - and did - but few people would try that one with me or any woman I know these days! If it is used by someone who means nothing by it, I would not have a problem.

Especially if they called everyone love, which in England they often seem to.

yes, the term "love" is used in a friendly way in the UK. I've been called "love" by barmaids. It's similar to saying to a customer "have a nice day" as they leave the shop.
A great deal depends on how things are said, the context & intonation of the voice. It's no different to addressing a man as "mate", as in "'ere mate, how much does a 6 pack cost?"

I agree - though I do think that language can be very important and I will object when I see a need to.

Well done, Setanta!
You've seen an example from you, which is obviously worth thinking

Hi dlowan, your reply is so long but my first impression is that the reply seems seeing through the inside of "lady", and I'm inspired.

I'm now re-reading it. LOL

After rereading Dlowan's reply, I think that history, politics, sociology, psycho ... and maybe including gossipology, are all concerned for the seemingly simple term "lady".

No more lady term for Australian women (but still, the courtesy term remains for US/Canadian women)

Thank you, esteemed woman Dlowan!

I think the problem is that women are referred to as "ladies" much more than men are referred to as "gentlemen". Although "lady" is in one sense a term of politeness in the same way as "gentleman", it is still used in many contexts where its male counterpart wouldn't be.

For instance, a group of young women would be called "ladies" by a doorman, yet he wouldn't call a group of young men "gentlemen" or "gents" - they would often be called "lads" which is of course a very informal term. Also, clubs and pubs have "ladies nights" that often feature a stripping act - you can hardly imagine the same kind of thing for men being called a "gents night". I have also seen signs that read "men's toilet" and "ladies toilet" - another example of unequal usage.