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Are having preferences considered racist?

 
 
contrex
 
  2  
Reply Mon 28 Feb, 2011 04:42 pm
@JGoldman10,
JGoldman10 wrote:

Would a black woman get mad if I preferred an Asian woman over a black one?


You really are a troll, aren't you? Either that or mentally ill.
JGoldman10
 
  0  
Reply Tue 1 Mar, 2011 01:34 am
@contrex,
No that's a legitimate question-some black women get mad because they think other women are stealing their black men away from them.
aidan
 
  1  
Reply Tue 1 Mar, 2011 01:45 am
@JGoldman10,
That is true Contrex. I married a black man and I went to several parties with him at which I was the only white woman and I was pretty much shunned and I didn't know why and then my husband told me it was because some black women resent the fact that some black men, particularly professional black men, seem to be attracted to white women.

I think I'd be hesitant (in my heart and mind) to go out with a Middle Eastern man because I'd be afraid he'd be too overbearing toward me and subjugate me to him and other men because I am a woman.
Maybe it's a stereotype I have that he'd make me stay home and wear a burkha or something...but honestly...that's what I'd be afraid of.
I'd be a little afraid of the male superiority complex and how it would affect me.
Honestly, I'd be a little worried if my daughter chose a Middle Eastern man to marry. I'd need to learn more about him and the situation.
Is that racist?
JGoldman10
 
  1  
Reply Tue 1 Mar, 2011 12:57 pm
People be with who they want to be with-if God didn't want people of different races/ethnicities intermingling and getting married he would have made everyone's gonads different.
0 Replies
 
JGoldman10
 
  1  
Reply Tue 1 Mar, 2011 12:58 pm
@aidan,
My mother doesn't care that I like Asian women. I think some of them are cute.
0 Replies
 
firefly
 
  1  
Reply Wed 2 Mar, 2011 04:27 am
@aidan,
Quote:
I think I'd be hesitant (in my heart and mind) to go out with a Middle Eastern man because I'd be afraid he'd be too overbearing toward me and subjugate me to him and other men because I am a woman.
Maybe it's a stereotype I have that he'd make me stay home and wear a burkha or something...but honestly...that's what I'd be afraid of.
I'd be a little afraid of the male superiority complex and how it would affect me.


Are you so passive that you'd get involved with a very overbearing or controlling man, and then continue to stay in a relationship where you were overly dominated or made to feel inferior--no matter what the ethnic or religious background of the man was? Why would you be so hesitant to go out with a Middle Eastern man? Wouldn't it be like going out with anyone else? If you didn't like the way he treated you, or what he demanded of you, you could just stop seeing him.

I don't think you are racist, but I think you are stereotyping Middle Eastern men, and your fears about them seem based on your feeling that you would become a doormat in that type of stereotypical relationship you envision. That's really saying more about you than about Middle Eastern men. Middle Eastern men don't all think alike. They don't all treat women alike.

People can have preferences, or aversions, toward people of varying groups for all sorts of reasons, both logical and illogical. When I was younger, I went through a phase where I had a preference for all men who weren't American. Any sort of accent was a real turn-on for me. The non-American men seemed more worldly, more sophisticated, more knowing of women, more polite, more romantic, more everything. Then, after a while, I realized this was mostly going on in my own head, and it was more a matter of the individual man rather than anything about his being a member of a particular group of any kind.

Groups are comprised of individuals, and it's the individuals we get involved with. Personality and temperament and intelligence can easily outweigh factors of ethnicity or race when it comes to who we find attractive or who we dislike.
0 Replies
 
saab
 
  1  
Reply Wed 2 Mar, 2011 06:05 am
@aidan,
Not going out with or marry a certain type of men does not mean you are a racist. Maybe you donĀ“t want to live in their country for what ever reason. Maybe the cultural differences are too great.
A friend of mine married a man from Iran, born and educated in Europe. His firm tranferred him to Teheran and it was hell for a European woman to live there. He go so fashinated that he now lives permenantly there and she is back in Europe.
We see it often in Europe, where there are no racial difference, but cultural that marriage cannot always work out.
Also one has to think about the child/ren in case of a divorce. Some countries the father gets the children not the mother.
The closer the cultural background, the level of education and common interests are the greater chance the marriage will work out.
firefly
 
  1  
Reply Wed 2 Mar, 2011 01:10 pm
@saab,
Quote:
The closer the cultural background, the level of education and common interests are the greater chance the marriage will work out.

Those similarities would certainly help to eliminate potential areas of conflict.
0 Replies
 
JGoldman10
 
  1  
Reply Wed 2 Mar, 2011 09:33 pm
If I meet a women from another culture, I'm willing to do some assimilation if that will make her happy. As long as I don't have to compromise being a Christian.

The important thing is the woman I meet has to be a Christian.
0 Replies
 
 

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