Ideas Whose Time Should Never Have Arrived

Crying child: Mommy! Mommy!
Concerned mother: What's the matter dear?
Crying child: I'm going to hell! Going to hell!
Concerned mother: Nonsense. You're a loving and caring son and brother to your baby brother....
Crying child: But I bit the head off of Jesus. [Child shows the remainder of the now headless Christ cookie. He drops the cookie onto the ground. The dog then eats the remaining parts of the shattered cookie.] Now Spot is going to hell too! {{{{{continues to wail!!}}}}}
Concerned mother: ((oh dear!))

You and your chocalate Jesus molds can all go to hell... Everyone knows that Jesus died so people could claim political power in his name and get rich doing so... Are you going to begrudge the little people from making their share of spit to swallow Jesus in Chocolate form??? The one thing very few people could honest say of Jesus in his life time was that he was sweet... It is our job to sweeten him up... If you consider Jesus in all his terrible implications, this society of ours, and our Churches too, would crumble into dust and be no more... No body wants the begger... No one wants the pitiful flop hanging on his cross... Everyone wants kill 'em all and let God Sort them out Jesus... Everyone want fighter pilot Jesus... Everyone wants nuke the whole fckin world Jesus, and lynch the rest...

Jesus was just a man, a very funny sort of man at times but a man none the less... This first Jewish comedian could be turned more ways than gumby, and be more agreeable than a bobble head, because he was dead, and not God alive to protest... Jesus may have been funny in his time, but he is a clown in ours, called upon to justify every human desire from death to enemies to paved roads to clean toilets... I have even heard that prayer upon my own lips with in earshot of my own children: Jesus, would you do some dishes; or Jesus, would you do the floors??? My kids must think Jesus can do miracles the way I invoke him to get them moving...

Traumatized for life.

what about electric veggie peelers? I mean, what's the point?

what?

"the point" dys, she said "what's the point?"

Electric veggie peelers are extremely helpful for people with severe arthritis in their hands. She had a difficult time grasping the handles of manual peelers. BBB used them for many years before she could no longer stand long enough to prepare food from scratch.

There are electric veggie peelers? What are they like? Jittery knives or some sort of device with a indentation that you put the veggie in so that it spins against knives in the wall?

Either way, I can not imagine an electric veggie peeler doing a good job.

I agree on that one! Why does anyone need a separate, space-consuming appliance to make tea?

When I worked at Williams-Sonoma, a woman whose poor hands were so crippled from arthritis that her fingers were almost useless asked if she could try a food processor. I took both a standard size processor and a mini-sized one and set them on the counter. The unfortunate woman couldn't use either but it was best to allow her to make that decision.

From what I could gather from the ad, the electric veggie peeler looked the same as a regular one, but weighed more, of course due to its motor, but you hold the veggie in your left hand and hold the peeler in your right. It seemed quite stupid - instead of you moving your hand back and forth (not too hard, even with arthritis), it moved for you - you still have to control it. DUMB. Which is why you never see them for sale in stores.

So you can sculpt turnip christmas trees..

Ooh! Can I? Can I? Can I?

Color radio and high rise mobile homes ought never to have been invented.

Golly, just what I need, A TURNIP CHRISTMAS TREE