As God as my witness, I'll never _______ again.

As God is my witness, I'll never jog without socks again.

As god is my witness, i'll never have an affair with Vivien Leigh again ! ! !

Yeaaaaah....I would go with a live person next time if I were you Set.

Ride a horse bare back in shorts again.
edit: Sorry Boomer - I just read what we are suppose to do again. I didn't fail at it - it just was hard to walk for the next few days...so

put in a kitchen faucet by myself again. What a mess.

I'll never be 18 again

I got thirty six foot insulation in my house
Wear 14 pairs of long underwear
Stick tape inside my ears
Cover myself up with five bedspreads
I spend every morning in an isolation tank
Spend every afternoon high up in a tree
Spend every evening with one of those things over my eyes
Like in virtual reality

And I-I-I-I...I'll never fall in love again

I'll have a walkman on my head every step I take
Put thorazine in my morning coffee break
Won't feed the birds bread boys, let them eat cake
I'll lock my doors click click click bang bang when I'm not awake

When I'm walking down the street
Don't make me meet your sister, Pete
When theres a knock knockin at my door
I'll just sit here on the floor

I run 26 miles a day straight up hills
Work overtime to pay all of my hospital bills
I spray black spraypaint on my windowsills
I'll make a million dollars, leave you out of my will

And I-I-I-I...I'll never fall in love again
I-I-I-I...I'll never fall in love again

Life.

As God as my witness, I'll never _______ again.
assume a hose bib is made of metal

You've failed at life dlowan?

Please don't be so hard on yourself! Seriously, you're lovely and helpful.

I'm thinking George is not a failure at jogging but is perhaps a failure at laundry.

And mismi might be a total failure at planning and practicality by attempting to ride a horse bareback while wearing shorts. (Plumbing? Really? I wouldn't ever even go there!)

Vivien Leigh is dead so Set can be excused for his failure to have another affair with her.

If I had ever even heard of a hose bib I might think I was a success if I had, osso.

Jeez, bear, have you ever really passed 18? Truly, I thought you were like 17 1/2.

djjd, do you know what do you get when you fall in love? You get enough tears to fill an ocean. That's what you get for your devotion so I'll never fall in love again either.

Nah...dinna fash yersel'. I wasn't being that hard on myself....but I do see Life as something that turns out (like simple pleated anythings) to be a great deal more complex and fraught with errors than one might have imagined when starting out!!


Like...I have no idea what a hose bib is, for instance.

That particular jog was a failure.
No socks = skin ripped off my toe knuckles ( I have hammer toes).

As to laundry --
As God is my winess, I'll never wash my tightie whities with a red t-shirt again.

It's just one of those faucets (usually outdoors or in a laundry room) to which
you can attach a hose.

As God is my witness, I'll never yell at anyone again when I'm pissed.

I am fearless like that....

I think I am about to change the heating element in my dryer. I will attempt then call my father in law. I'm like my Daddy - got to give it a shot first. Hopefully - won't make things worse than they already are. Here's hoping...I may be back later to add to the list!

had to call the Prof. and my F-I-L..

As God is my witness, I'll never tell hubby to use the brown sauce in the narrow bottle without being more specific again.

It's a little known fact that Worcestershire sauce was not named after a place in
England. It got its name from a confused (and slightly tipsy) hubby looking at a
bottle of brown sauce and slurring "What's this here sauce?"

As God is my witness, I'll never sneak out again. But at least it got me an interview at McDonald's. :-)

As God as my witness, I'll never spread the news of any friend's engagement to her friends and parents before s/he does.

As God is my witness, I'll never screw up on the cash register again.