Should realtor boyfriend share commission income on property we bought together?

Reply Thu 4 Sep, 2008 07:44 pm
My boyfriend and I are planning to buy a one bedroom condo near the lake for weekend get-aways. We each plan to get our lawyers to review the purchase to make sure that the terms are fair and that nobody is at a disadvantage. We will split everything 50-50. My problem is this - my boyfriend is a realtor and will get a commission from the purchase for being a "buyer's agent", the "buyers" being both him and me. I guess this is standard in the world of real estate agents - meaning the listing agent gets a commission, the realtor who brings in the buyer gets a commission, the real estate house gets a commission. I'm a little upset that my boyfriend has not offered to share the commission with me in the form of putting the commission towards the purchase of the condo, so that it benefits us both. I guess he thinks that he is entitled to the commission as he is a realtor, but inside me I feel that he should not just pocket it. In all other aspects of the puchase, I have no complaints as our lawyers will make sure the purchase is handled fairly. However, we never really discussed this issue of the "buyer's agent's commission." Am I being picky here? I don't want to be greedy and I don't want to be a nitpicker. We are not talking big bucks here ($3,000 commission income for him) -but it's the thought that he did not offer to share that sort of hurts me. Am I being fair to him? Please give me your advice :-(
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Type: Question • Score: 6 • Views: 1,784 • Replies: 5
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Reply Thu 4 Sep, 2008 07:48 pm
If you're getting involved financially to the point of buying a property together, you need to discuss this with him.

It doesn't much matter how anyone here feels about it - it matters how you feel about it.

In terms of fairness, I think it's not fair to either of you to proceed with the relationship if you can't discuss this matter.

If I didn't think I could discuss this with my partner, I'd be backing away from the relationship and definitely not buying the property.

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Reply Thu 4 Sep, 2008 07:53 pm
It is kind of weird that your relationship is involved enough to share major expenditures but not income. Beth's right that you should at least be able to talk about it. But the money seems rather minor (compared to buying the place). Do you know why it's bugging you? Is it related to something else on your mind?
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Reply Thu 4 Sep, 2008 08:00 pm
Hello seashells,

your boyfriend would not get the commission if you weren't part of the
buying process, right? On the other hand, if he did all the legwork, filled out
the purchase agreement forms, etc. etc. then he should be entitled to the
commission. If he's done none of it, just showed up as co-buyer, I would hope
he either shares the commission with you or advances it towards the

As ehbeth mentioned already, communication is the essential part in any
relationship, and I suggest you discuss this with your boyfriend. Should he -
after discussing it - feel that he's entitled to the commission for himself only, you should reconsider if you really want to be involved with this person.
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Reply Thu 4 Sep, 2008 08:10 pm
My reading is that the problem is that you are upset that your boyfriend has not read your mind, that he does not know intuitively that this bothers you. That is not fair of you. Open your mouth, next listen to what he has to say, and if you don't think after the process of dialog has run that he is being fair THEN you will have a relationship issue.

I can't think of how him keeping the money is right, but maybe he has a good explanation. If not maybe you two could agree to put aside the income tax portion ans spend the rest on something nice for the both of you, for instance something to go into the house.
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cicerone imposter
Reply Thu 4 Sep, 2008 08:13 pm
I see problems in this relationship much bigger than the commission one. If you can't communicate with him on this issue, it seems more important issues in the future will be verboten. Not a good way in any relationship.
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