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Tue 29 Jul, 2008 05:36 pm
There are six steps that must be adhered to when applying cologne.
1. Find someone to assist you.
2. Take cap off bottle of cologne and hand it to assistant.
3. Take off all your clothes and close your eyes, mouth and any other orifices over which you have that ability.
4. Yell out, "HIT IT!" and begin spinning around furiously while assistant sprays a constant mist over your entire body.
5. Stop spinning when bottle is empty or your assistant's spraying finger is too numb to continue (whichever comes first).
6. Put your clothes back on.
Congratulations! You are now ready for a good time.
There you have it. I would assume that for perfume it would be the same process, but if anyone has a different take on the proper application of cologne and/or perfume, please feel free to contribute.
Gawd, Kicky, do you know NOTHING?
You have to keep the clothes ON! Otherwise the un-perfumed clothes may mask the scent once you're clothed again.
Alternatively, you can do the naked thing and then be sure to leave about half an inch of perfume/ cologne in the bottle -- then dump that on the pile of clothes. Fluff it a bit to properly distribute, put on scented clothes, and you're ready to go!
If you can't smell, like I can't, you hand your departed ex mother in law's Chanel No. 5 to a close friend and ask her to smell it before dabbing it on yourself at pulse points. This will follow with your friend hardly speaking to you from the repulsion.
Well, Kicky...
I never knew that.
That's what I'll do from now on.......
but..ahh..doesn't it get a tad expensive?
I guess I'll just have to use a cheaper perfume.
The cheaper the better is my motto. All that really matters is that there be some kind of noticeable stink.
sozobe wrote:Gawd, Kicky, do you know NOTHING?
You have to keep the clothes ON! Otherwise the un-perfumed clothes may mask the scent once you're clothed again.
Alternatively, you can do the naked thing and then be sure to leave about half an inch of perfume/ cologne in the bottle -- then dump that on the pile of clothes. Fluff it a bit to properly distribute, put on scented clothes, and you're ready to go!
I'm with you on everything but the fluffing thing. I'd need to hire a fluffer. Any volunteers?
<women come running from all directions>
Please, please, ladies! Form an orderly line! AN ORDERLY LINE!
Ladies must firstly adopt a supine accumbent position whilst dabbing a little behind each ear in an antipodean fashion. Best results are achieved by corking the bottle with the other foot and thereafter placing both feet behind the ears for a time.
me neither ossobuco
solipsister bottles come with corks? Are you talking about champagne, wine or perfume
solipsister wrote:Ladies must firstly adopt a supine accumbent position whilst dabbing a little behind each ear in an antipodean fashion. Best results are achieved by corking the bottle with the other foot and thereafter placing both feet behind the ears for a time.
I can't really picture exactly what you mean by all this, but thanks for the wonderful mental image of the lady with her feet behind her ears. That's hot.
kickycan wrote:The cheaper the better is my motto. All that really matters is that there be some kind of noticeable stink.
Jovan Musk Oil...brings back memories of Middle School (Junior High) and all those stinky boys. :wink:
Yes. Roadkill would be fine of course. Just remember to be responsible and eat what is left after you're done.
kickycan wrote:Yes. Roadkill would be fine of course. Just remember to be responsible and eat what is left after you're done.
In this economy? Who could afford not to?
mismi wrote:kickycan wrote:The cheaper the better is my motto. All that really matters is that there be some kind of noticeable stink.
Jovan Musk Oil...brings back memories of Middle School (Junior High) and all those stinky boys. :wink:
Those sense memories are what I count on when I'm loading myself up with Hai Karate.
ahh yes Hai Karate...good stuff for a 13 year old! I love it when I get put in a half nelson.
TTH wrote:me neither ossobuco
solipsister bottles come with corks? Are you talking about champagne, wine or perfume
oh dear, don't confine yourself to screw top or spray
Do they still sell Blue Waltz? Came in a cobalt blue bottle.
I still have the mother in law's wee cobalt blue bottle of Evening in Paris, complete with tassle (I think, as I can't read the label). No, I haven't opened it, I learned my lesson re the Chanel.
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