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Fri 18 Jul, 2008 07:53 pm
Something Dagmaraka said as an aside prompted me to do this thread.
I don't know about you, but my life is somewhat littered with funny, nonsensical and silly stories about the pursuit of lerve...and/or lust, and I thought others might be full of it, also.
So..this is a place for all the dumb things that you did/happened to you in your relationship life...or funny stories about others.
I'll start.
One night, I was arguing with my beloved...and, in the heat of the moment, decided to storm out.
Having stormed, and slammed the front door behind me, I realized:
a. I had just stormed out of my own house.
b. I was in a nightie (albeit a substantial and very flattering cotton one, much like the Indian dresses of the time.)
c. It was 1.00 am.
I just KNEW that beloved was lying in my bed snickering, waiting for me to have to come back inside, where he could laugh at me.
No!!!!! This must not be!
So...I crept around the side of the house, to the shed where my bicycle was.
I mounted it, in my nightie, no shoes etc.
I rode it to a friend's house in North Adelaide...a couple of miles away. I knew it to be highly likely that he and his household would still be awake. They were.
They thought the whole thing was hilarious.
We partied all night, and, at 7.00, I rode back home.
By that time, my household were awake, and I popped in the back door, and joined them for breakfast.
Beloved came out a bit later, and we both pretended nothing had happened.....
But I had checked his car when I got home...it was in a different place. he had been out looking for me.
I left my husband.
This was a serious incident.
It was something like midnight.
I stormed out.
I am night blind.
Which means I don't see curbs or broken sidewalks or tree roots, much less thugs who roam in the night.
I walked for hours, aiming of course toward the lights of the marina.
I had to go back.
I'd left my purse.
ossobuco wrote:I left my husband.
This was a serious incident.
It was something like midnight.
I stormed out.
I am night blind.
Which means I don't see curbs or broken sidewalks or tree roots, much less thugs who roam in the night.
I walked for hours, aiming of course toward the lights of the marina.
I had to go back.
I'd left my purse.
Oh dear!
Mine was lightsome and hilarious....I would not go back and be laughed at!!!
We laughed later, of course.
But Osso...you must have some genuinely silly and funny experiences to share, which is what the thread is for...
Didn't mean to morose you out, we were together for lots more years, much of them good. But that was something of a cruxt time (I wished later that I'd acted further then) and funny in its way. Funny perhaps the wrong word, more.. piquant.
The hilarious ones..
well, I'll have some clean up to do on the telling. Give me a little time.
Okay, here's another Stupid & Angry story...(loved the bicycling in a nightie in the middle of the night, Deb!)
I was 20 years old, and I'd been married about a year...a year full of spectacular fights. One Sunday night The Jerk started a real doozy, then imperiously announced he was going to the Sunday night service at our church.
I was in no mood to play the loving spouse in public. He said fine, I could act like a baby, but he was going. I said no, neither of us should go and pretend everything was fine. That was hypocritical.
He grabbed the keys to our only car and headed for the door, saying he'd tell everyone I wasn't feeling well.
That made me even angrier.
I yelled, "Wait a minute! You can't take the car and leave me here without transportation!"
"Watch me!" he yelled back, as he wheeled out of the parking lot.
I fumed for about ten minutes, then decided I would teach him a lesson.
I walked five miles to the church, across highways and in 95 degree weather. I found the car in the parking lot while the service was still going on, got in it and drove off.
Let him explain that to everyone!
I drove to a mall across town where we never shopped (the last place he'd think to look) and treated myself to a movie. I went home when I got good and ready.
I don't know how he got home, and I didn't care. But he never drove off and left me stranded again.
I don't think anyone at that church was particularly surprised when we divorced a few years later, though.
You left your purse?!
That SO sounds like me!!!
Not only left my purse, but didn't even have coins for a phone call, say to friends at 2 a.m.
This old girl scout is never prepared..
I bet the light hearted Dlowan didn't take her purse either.
But at least she had wheels and....um....uh...
A BIKE!!!
I HAD A BIKE!
I JUST THOUGHT OF THAT!
WHY DIDN'T I RIDE MY DAMN BIKE TO THE CHURCH?! It would have taken me a fourth of the time to get there in all that heat! But no, I had to risk heat stroke! I could've put the bike in the trunk to get it home!
Oh wow. That was even stupider than I thought.
Ah...you are women after my own heart....I love that one, Eva!
I need to think of more dumb stuff I have done.
Oh wait...same beloved:
The Bye-Bye Bonk
This one is a little mean.
That beloved's previous girlfriend (they were still good mates) was leaving to go to Melbourne to do her midwifery training (Adelaide didn't have it then..).
We went to her farewell party, but, the next night, beloved said he was going round to her place to say goodbye.
Now...if ever a man had guilt on his face, this one had it. Clearly, they had planned some goodbye sex, and beloved was feeling bad about it, and as though he had to make up for it. (For example, we weren't living together, so he had no need to tell me he was going over there at all.)
I didn't mind the bye-bye bonk at all, and I thought it was funny that he was looking so guilty.
So..I decided to act really dumb. First of all, I pretended that I wanted to come and say goodbye too... (this woman was always delightful to me). Watching beloved think of reasons why I couldn't come was delicious...in the end I gracefully gave in.
Then...beloved feels the need to come back to my place to sleep.
He enters...and, of course..(oh sign of "guilt"!) says he needs a shower before coming to bed. (She had strong taste in perfume.)
I again act dumb, and pretend I want to come with him. More embarrassed shuffling and excuses....quite elaborate ones.....I again eventually, and seemingly innocently, accede.
Eventually, I couldn't help myself...and I started giggling. The FACE when I said I had known all along what he was planning, and I didn't mind at all.
ossobuco wrote:I bet the light hearted Dlowan didn't take her purse either.
I had literally nothing except the nightie and the bicycle!
Trying to "do it" on a frosty night in her parents back yard. Frost laden grass is a real passion killer for the dangly bits.
Oh Lord. Are we going to talk about wrong places for sex now?
Where do I start......
Well, ,,,,,,,oh, nevermind, you already know all the stories.
Joe(the good ones)Nation
The dune buggy in Tuna Canyon?
That was the nice guy I left because he said y'know too many hundred times. I admit it was superficial of me, he was an interesting person. I just lost it. Put that in my bad column.
I thought you'd be here soon, Joe.
Your stories are eminently worth repeating. Go right ahead!
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