Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain....

Re: Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain....


I hide by appearing more effluent and urban than I am.

On my weekly outing today, shopping at the mall, I realised the sign that said "YOU ARE HERE" was epistemologically, metaphysical objectivism, but then it clouded over.

Oh my god. You're my brother in law, aren't you?

Let's kiss deeply and make up.

You do have make up?

Yeah. Damn. You're him for sure.

You're good at returning shtick, may I call you boom boom?

Just don't call me late for dinner.

I always feel embarassed about being surprised when 'one of them punks' is the only one helping you through the doors with your pram, or holds open the doors for you.

I wish it was easier to look past the odd, though I try if given the chance.

Me? I guess I used to be a little grey mouse.
But at some point I decided that I liked to be me.
I think there are things I am good at, at I see no need to hide this.
I know there are things I have no idea about, and I don't try and make it seem otherwise.

If you don't like it: Go away, I will not bother you!

By the way, at the moment my hair is bright red

I don't think I'm a hider.

Re: Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain....

That'd do it, all right.

I think I've mentioned this here and there but E.G. has been deep undercover for quite about 17 years now, and is starting to emerge.

When I met him 16 years ago he was relatively normal -- hoop earrings were the main "hmm" thing going on about him. Very short hair, pretty standard Madison-grad-student clothes. (Lots of Army surplus-type stuff, docs.)

He made sure very early into our relationship (like, days) that I realized that he was more normal-looking at that moment than was usual for him, as he showed me pictures of the blue mohawk days, the jet-black Chinese ponytail days (shaved head except for ponytail at the crown of his head), the long-ago heavy metal days (yes, reader, he had a mullet), etc., etc. He never got a tattoo or pierced anything but his ears (and he did the ears himself), mostly it was about clothes and hair.

(I approved.) (Except for the mullet.)

Shortly before he met me, he realized that he just wasn't going to advance in his field unless he dressed more normally. People would see the black leather jacket or the earrings and just shut off. They wouldn't talk to him, wouldn't allow for the possibility that he was smart. It's a very conservative field.

So for a long time he's been khakis and button-down shirts, or jeans and (normal, unremarkable) t-shirts. Short hair. Doesn't wear earrings (the piercings are still there and still functional, though).

Then he a) became VERY well-known (in his field he's a bit of a star) and b) got tenure. He's now loosening up a bit, and trying to figure out what direction to go in.

Currently the main thing going on is a pretty substantial goatee. It's about 4 inches long by now. He's going bald and keeps his hair very short, like a couple of millimeters. Overall it's a rather Lenin-ish look, but certainly edgier than he has been. With a certain outfit it looks like a leaner version of Larry the Cable Guy, and when I told him he laughed but didn't object.

I think he's also going for the anti-intimidation factor. People learn what he does (science professor) and get all eek. He wants to look the opposite of that, I think.

Last night he was talking about painting his fingernails black. He was kidding. Mostly.

He's getting more interesting t-shirts.

He's thinking about wearing earrings again but he's not sure.

Mostly he's just ready to ditch the undercover-ness, and is still figuring out how to do that exactly without being TOO extreme. (He is, after all, still a science professor who gives lots of talks all over the world and needs to teach. Frequently, people don't recognize him -- we both believe the whole "slap on a beard for a disguise" thing now in a way we didn't used to -- and some people are definitely uncomfortable.)

Maybe "hiding" wasn't the right word to use -- maybe I should have said "what we chose to reveal" instead.

For me, it's talking to somene. I don't talk a lot so I don't reveal much about myself and my appearance doesn't say anything about me, I don't "join" but prefer to be quiet behind the scenes so people think I'm not much interested and therefore not very interesting.

Because I don't buy stuff people assume I can't buy stuff. This was driving home last month when I went to return an item. Because of the way I'd attached the receipt the customer service person all but accused me of taking it from the "salvage bin" and trying to return something I hadn't bought. It was kind of funny in a weird sort of way.

In a weird sort of weird way when we moved from our modest ranch house to a very desirable neighborhood several of Mo's bios came out of the woodwork trying, after 4 years, to engage him in a relationship. Maybe it was coincidence but it was most certainly alarming. I might have started playing up the "don't have much" a bit too hard following that.....


...anyway....


What I chose to present to people isn't really much like what I am.

What my associate presents to the world is not really much like him.

For other's it's dying their hair bright red or slipping some of their real self into their public self. (Thanks for the stories, bohne and soz!)

I'd like to get comfortable in my own skin again.

i'm not sure there is anyone in my circle that knows everything about who I am. I tend to let on those things about myself that make it easier for other people to deal with me. What I tell/give/show of myself depends on the person.

It's just easier a lot of the time. Even with the anonymity of being online not everything about me is out there - a lot lol, for sure. but not everything.

It might be what we chose to reveal, but more likely, I think, it's about what people chose to see.

In real life, I'm shy in a large group of people or people I don't know well. I've been told that this makes me appear uninterested and distant.
When I do speak, I'm often more honest than people are comfortable with, and a little on the blunt side. Some people think I have a thick skin, but fail to see the marshmallow that my real friends know about.

Shrug, so the people that find me off-putting usually are people that I don't want to know that well.

Yes, I do get a little tired of my supposed reputation as a hard ass bitch at work. I try to be as nice as I can, but really, I'm there to work, not hold people's hands.

I think I've just newly invented a ride on game called Hiding To Nothing.

I "hide," i suppose--but mostly, it's just wanting to be left alone, and wanting to do things my way. I like to wear a pink shirt. It doesn't matter if it's a pink "t-shirt," or a pink oxford shirt--i just like to wear one. And if it makes me stand out, then i'm fine with that. Most mostly i blend in. I like to wear colorful shirts, but not necessarily flashy clothing. I don't like to wear clothing with writing on it ("You want me to pay that for your crummy jacket, and you expect me to be a walking billboard for your overpriced stuff ? ! ? ! ?"). I don't like to wear plaids, bold stripes (pinstripe is OK), "Hawaiian" shirts, polka dots. Mostly i like things to be plain and simple, and i like you to mind your own damned business.

IRL I adjust my vocabulary down. People just give me blank looks, otherwise.

Oh there you are.

I like cotton v neck tees and with a sport coat I can get picked up by gays all the time. Ive been told that I am too neat about myself and thats a total 180 from my days on a Bike. when I wsnt much diff than soz' staff man. Its amazing what age and responsibility does to your fashion sense.

Weekends it bib overalls (no **** I love em), and with a little paunch, and if I keep my one strap suggestively undone, I could pass for a character out of Mice and MEn
"Tell me about the rabbits George"

Gay women try to pick me up all the time too - even when I'm out with a guy - I asked a male friend if he thought I looked gay once and he said, ' no not typically' but you do give off an aura of openness - maybe that's it.

I think I look pretty straight up middle-class - but my students have asked me if I have a tattoo or any hidden piercings. I was shocked - I said, ''Do I look like I would have a tattoo?' because my perception of myself is that I don't.
They said, 'Kind of - I can imagine that...'

I don't - but for some reason people always think there's more to me than there is.

I wouldn't get a tattoo - but if I were younger - I'd have gotten my belly button pierced - I think that's pretty.