Regarding cuddling -- a thread inspired by OGIONIK

I was concerned about that very thing and decided to seek advice on the subject. I called up Chai (a member on this board) and asked her if she could meet me by the beach.

"Sure, Gus. What's up?"

"I just got some stuff that's weighing heavily on my mind, Chai. I need to talk."

"Be there in fifteen minutes, Gus."

I drove to the beach and she was already there. She had brought some crackers and cheese and a bottle of wine and we nibbled and sipped and conversed, mostly small talk, at a nearby picnic table.

Finally I built up the courage and blurted out, "Chai, am I too old to cuddle?"

"Do you want the truth, Gus?"

"Yes. Hold back nothing."

"Then walk with me, Gus."

She took my hand and as we strode toward the beach she begin to talk.

"Gus", she said, in a very tender voice, "Your cuddling days are over. Women do not like cuddling codgers. To be honest, we would rather cuddle with a badger than a codger. It's just the way things are, Gus. Can you understand that?"

"Yes, Chai. Yes, I can. I've always suspected my cuddling days were over. Women screaming and running as I approached was enough of a subtle signal to arouse my suspicions, but now, with your guidance, my suspicions have been confirmed, and, frankly, I feel like a tremendous weight has been lifted from my shoulders. Thanks, Chai, You're always there for me."

She gave me a brief little hug and then, our eyes moist from tears, we both stared at the ocean together, each of us trapped in our own thoughts.